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Old 11th May 2004, 12:57     #161
Uncle Gus
Originally posted by Gerbs
My timing I know it sucks
This rhymes only from luck.
Eat shit and die
I won't tell a lie
I really don't give a f**k!

(no offense intended!)

Practise doesn't make perfect it seems
Now, Gerbs, that's not very nice,
I was merely providing advice,
No need to get surly,
Or things might get curly,
With your nuts getting crushed in a vice.

(no offence taken, and none returned )
Old 11th May 2004, 13:07     #162
The thought makes me cringe
It almost makes me unhinge'd
My nuts in a vice
Can't feel too nice
Thats it, I've had my whinge!
Old 11th May 2004, 13:38     #163
Uncle Gus
I know this wee chap they call "triki,"
Whose antics are just a bit "wicky,"
When asked "you fo' rizzle?"
Says "fo shizzle, mah nizzle! "
And all day long smokes sticky-icky.
Old 11th May 2004, 13:51     #164
For Ness

Our favourite post, there is none finer
than this unpunctuated one-liner
We know the intention:
to garner attention
Old 11th May 2004, 13:52     #165
Some say triki's a bit of a chump
Talks trash like he's from the dump
Who really slams harder
Triki or Vince Carter?
Dude we all know that white boy's can't jump
Old 11th May 2004, 14:02     #166
Bobo Fettish
Something for the women ...

The mindset of women is totally queer,
"no-one looks like that" is all we hear.
Just go to the gym,
You, too, can be slim,
Complaints will stop when it's you we leer.
Old 11th May 2004, 14:10     #167
In poems, one crucial parameter
Is use of iambic pentameter
This term's poorly known
But research has shown
That my wang has a hefty diameter
Old 11th May 2004, 14:47     #168
Uncle Gus
My 222 class is at 3,
But sleepy and tired is me,
I don't think I'll go,
My mind is too slow,
I'll just go and catch a few z's.
Old 11th May 2004, 15:06     #169
Gus' plight

You could find some old notes to borrow
And make up the study tomorrow
But forget the conjecture
Go straight to your lecture
Or exams will bring much pain and sorrow
Old 11th May 2004, 15:24     #170
Bobo Fettish
HE thought he'd give it a bash,
Seduced by his cousins gash.
So what if she's family?
He's feeling quite randy,
But ended up getting a rash.

Last edited by Whiplash : 11th May 2004 at 15:26.
Old 11th May 2004, 15:45     #171
The story continues

Some posted, 'Man that's really sick'
Cousins shouldn't be near your dick
Then he said with some glee
I made it up tee hee
And he thought that we fell for that trick
Old 11th May 2004, 16:01     #172
I have detailed files
Some found the news quite funny
That Gus'd had probs with his dunny
The hanger was bent
and made him lament
The benefits of poos that is runny
Old 11th May 2004, 16:05     #173
It’s always quite funny it seems
To make photo’s to match a threads themes
And those done quite well
Are amusing as hell
A baby’s eyes that shoot laser beams!
Old 11th May 2004, 16:49     #174

Originally posted by Ajax
In poems, one crucial parameter
Is use of iambic pentameter
This term's poorly known
But research has shown
That my wang has a hefty diameter
That is absolutely brilliant!

Four thumbs up!
Train wreck sandwich

Last edited by seen-my-keys? : 11th May 2004 at 16:50.
Old 11th May 2004, 17:04     #175
I have detailed files
Some see a girl post and think "Poke 'er"
While others suspect she's a joker
The truth be told
The're not very old
And quickly labelled cocksmoker
Old 11th May 2004, 23:16     #176
the time i see it is getting quite late
time to for me to try to screw my date.
please suck on my twanger
then i will bang ya
i promise i will come earl instead of late
Old 12th May 2004, 01:52     #177
Uncle Gus
Angry talking

Now that my brain is all spent,
My assignment is done and I'm bent,
But I'll spit, swear and curse it,
Cos the pain's hardly worth it,
The thing's only worth five percent.
Old 13th May 2004, 00:12     #178
I need a clever invention
To get my limerick a bit more attention
I'll put it in bold!
But the thread's gotten old
Now mine won't even get a mention
Old 13th May 2004, 17:23     #179
Laugh For all you mathematicians out there.

I'll let you stumble around before I post the answer.
Old 13th May 2004, 18:09     #180

Integral z-squared dz
from 1 to the square root of 3
times the cosine
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of e
Old 13th May 2004, 19:21     #181
Originally posted by Simon
from 1 to the square root of 3
cube root

or, as a simpsons pisstake:
Originally posted by Simon
Integral z-squared dz
from 1 to the square root of 3
times the cosine
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of e
thats a right-angle triangle, you idiot!
Old 13th May 2004, 19:25     #182
The funny thing is, that integral is true. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who played around with the numbers before he got something that worked.

Geniousus though.
Old 14th May 2004, 02:41     #183
doppelgänger of someone
Heaven forbids she has a boyfriend already.

In Monash there is this chick,
9th floor of Menzies Building, she call that her place to think.
She is bitter and smart.
From my fingers, how could I have let her pass?
Odd of not meeting her again looms big.

She wanted a pub crawl
In my court was the ball.
What did I say to that?
"I got heaps of things to do", that is a fact.
Just like that I closed the door.

(One 5k words essay,
30 mins in a fray,
These assessment items
Drilling my many imaginary rectums.
11th of June, that's the due day.)

Losing that opportunity makes me scare.
The 'what if's, the 'could have been's are all that I cannot bear.
This Saturday she again may come from Clayton.
Even when this probably is not a match ordained in Heaven,
I still wish to know her better.
Old 14th May 2004, 04:20     #184
Old 14th May 2004, 08:26     #185
I have detailed files
Cunning The real reason she's going to Welly??

Some may think Flic a bit of a flake
She has a craving for this thing called Quake
Not the game, mind you
but the tectonic to do
She gets off when the ground starts to shake

Last edited by StN : 14th May 2004 at 08:30.
Old 14th May 2004, 09:11     #186
Originally posted by Simon
And you said I was playing fast and loose with the syllables, at least mine rhyme
Old 14th May 2004, 09:36     #187
Dee Hast Mish
Stn's limerick although it quite corny
was the first thing i read here this morny
it wasn't that stink
but i started to think
why he was doing a search on the word 'horny'
Old 14th May 2004, 09:42     #188

There once was a man named Abaddon
Who spurred up a board for flaming and braggin
Then things got tight
It just wasn't right
And decided to change his name to Simon
Old 14th May 2004, 09:46     #189
I have detailed files
I thought of it whilst I was in bed
Remembering the threads in my head
The key was toothpaste
But in my haste
Horny looked better in red
Old 14th May 2004, 17:20     #190
doppelgänger of someone
Old 26th May 2004, 08:31     #191
I have detailed files
A troublesome gamer called Katalyst
Was anything but a philanthropist
With Goose_'s mouse in tow
He was busted - Fair Go
And now tops Trademe's splatter list

Nothing bloody rhymes with Katalyst
Old 26th May 2004, 11:51     #192
There once was a sloth with a palace
Who wrote songs that didn't suck phallus
But since Tarzan said it
He got all the credit
A lesser sloth would be most jealous

We've looked for flats in Taranaki
And bashed Holmes who quipped 'Cheeky Darkie'
But these Limericks bite
So I think I now might
Go whack off to Kou Shibasaki
Old 26th May 2004, 15:13     #193
Cheesy grin

They thought that the age was too high,
at which a young lady could cry,
"Catharsis! not yet!"
"I havent quite met,
the legal consent age, its nigh."

Old 26th May 2004, 16:11     #194
Dee Hast Mish
Now I'm not usually a fan of Brad Pitt
Joe Black was a complete piece of shit
but I went and saw Troy
Woohoo! Boy oh boy!
Nice arse when he's out of his Kit
Old 26th May 2004, 16:31     #195
I quite liked that new movie troy,
However, I was kind've coy,
It was quite close to smut,
with all of that butt,
on the screen, that, I did not enjoy.
Old 27th May 2004, 15:58     #196
Okay, so perhaps this one is a little late.

There once was a lesbian virgin,
Whos debts were collectin’ and mergin’.
So’er loan would stop ticking,
She took a deep dicking,
The wang got her hormones a surgin’.

There once was a lesbian student,
Whos bed manner, was really quite prudent.
Till one move quite bold,
Her virginity, she sold,
T’was okay, but quite inconcludent.

Hah! I bet you thought I wouldnt have anything to rhyme with student and prudent.
Old 27th May 2004, 16:55     #197
Dee Hast Mish
poo dent

(it's rude in the right context)
Old 28th May 2004, 16:21     #198
The limerick thread has died
Yet people still have replied
Fuck, then I too went
To rhyme about poo dent
This shit leaves a dent in my pride.
Old 28th May 2004, 16:42     #199
Originally posted by seen-my-keys?
Hah! I bet you thought I wouldnt have anything to rhyme with student and prudent.
Impudent? Imprudent?
Old 28th May 2004, 16:45     #200
Imprudent doesnt count IMO,

rhyming prudent and imprudent is cheating.

However, impudent =

*looks up impudent*

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