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31st May 2010, 17:35 | #1 |
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What grinds your gonads? Boobies, babies, and midwives oh my
everyone telling my wife and i how we should be raising our child already. just because you bottle fed your children doesn't mean we should do the same for ours when he's breast feeding perfectly ok
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My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity. |
31st May 2010, 20:43 | #2 |
Always itchy
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I thought everyone knew breast-was-best? Psh bottles. That's how you get melamine poisoning...
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31st May 2010, 21:39 | #3 |
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Haha the whole breast vs bottle thing is actually fucking gear grinding in NZ, now that you mention it.
On the one hand you've got the fucking hippie midwives pounding you in the face with their dogmatic doctrine regurgitation, making anyone who bottle/formula feeds their children feel like scum for doing so. On the other side you've got physicians, obs, paeds, GP's saying "yeah ummm this isn't a 3rd world country where the water isn't safe enough to use in formula"... "As long as you breast feed for the first few days/a week or two tops to get the infant the antibodies that they need then you're fine to move to formula." Of course if breast feeding is going fine then great, whatever works for you, but for any mother who is 'suffering' through breast feeding, it's not worth it. The other great thing about formula feeding is that the father can feed the kid while the mum sleeps making the whole family better off. After dealing with with many midwives through the birth of our two kids I can safely say that 99% of everything they say is total and utter bullshit (not just to do with formula feeding/breast is best crap but everything, sleeping patterns, colic, reflux, etc etc) and the way they beat down mothers who chose to formula feed is disgusting. I actually had to tell one to 'fuck off' when they would not drop it and stop harassing and guilting my wife on the subject. Midwives gmg. |
31st May 2010, 21:43 | #4 |
Don't worry, be harpy
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MadMax - not "well-meaning much older relatives", perchance? They are teh debbil when it comes to baby advice.
My personal favourites: "Oh, the baby is just hungry, mix in a bit of yoghurt with her milk". (at 3 days old) "When she starts teething, use a mixture of whiskey, warm water & sugar on her gums" "It doesn't matter if she cries, she has to learn you're not always going to come running!" (when daughter was 2 days old). |
31st May 2010, 21:51 | #5 |
A mariachi ogre snorkel
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teh debbil: "What he/she needs is a bit of $HOMEOPATHIC_REMEDY"
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU |
31st May 2010, 21:55 | #6 |
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My bro and his partner were given several books on raising a baby, one of which seemed quite useful - until the section on vaccination. "If you're concerned about the safety of vaccinating your child, contact your local homeopathy professional."
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31st May 2010, 21:58 | #7 |
Don't worry, be harpy
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Ab - No shit?! I did have one well-meaning relative suggest that I use some homeopathic teething tablets and I nearly slaughtered them.
Cheers but I'll stick to the remedies that actually work. Grrr |
31st May 2010, 22:05 | #8 |
Frag-muff
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When people suggest stuff I don't believe in I just tell them I'm doing stuff they don't believe in.
"You should see a homeopath." "Oh, no, I'm seeing a faith healer for it. I have it well under control." |
31st May 2010, 22:15 | #9 |
Mrs Colin Farrell
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Breast feeding is the fucking devil. For something that your body is born to do, well, the body just can't handle it for most women. After having to be hospitalised when my kid was 4 weeks old, and again at 6 weeks old (different boob each time) because the mastitis had developed into a full-blown abscess...yeah, fuck breast feeding. Having my tits sliced open and a fucking drain inserted into each, and the 5 months recovery (I became very friendly with all the district nurses)...yeah, bottle feeding 4 lyfe.
Seriously, nothing makes me rage more than breast feeding. It's fantastic if it works for you, but if it's not then don't be afraid to say "fuck it" and go for the bottle. And if I hear "so when are you having number two" one more time then I'm going to cut a bitch. I fucking hate women and their sick obsession with breeding. Man I'm angry tonight. |
31st May 2010, 22:19 | #10 |
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^ this is what terror looks like
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31st May 2010, 22:30 | #11 |
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i should say that there are a few unique scenarios where a mum shouldn't breast feed and needs to use a bottle + formula (say, due to mums medication). it's also handy to freeze milk for later when mum is tired and needs a rest where dad can then feed baby from mums defrosted milk. but certainly not while baby and mum are just starting to get the hang of breast feeding.
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My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity. |
31st May 2010, 22:37 | #12 |
Mrs Colin Farrell
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"when mum needs a rest" - that's when mastitis develops, mk? Mum skips a feed, the milk builds up, and an infection occurs. Seriously, this whole "freezing milk" business is a marketing scheme by the breast pump manufacturers. It sounds like a great idea when you're pregnant but the reality of sterilising and pumping? *snort* it's a joke.
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31st May 2010, 22:38 | #13 | |
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My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity. |
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31st May 2010, 22:41 | #14 | |
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My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity. |
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31st May 2010, 22:46 | #15 | ||
Mrs Colin Farrell
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31st May 2010, 22:49 | #16 | |
Frag-muff
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31st May 2010, 22:52 | #17 |
Stunt Pants
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wait... wat?
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I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner? |
31st May 2010, 22:58 | #18 |
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im on my netbook in bed so truncated it for size to save typing :/
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My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity. |
31st May 2010, 23:43 | #19 | ||
A mariachi ogre snorkel
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31st May 2010, 23:47 | #20 | |
A mariachi ogre snorkel
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31st May 2010, 23:50 | #21 |
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Ahahah! I have a friend who lives in homoeopathy hell. His mother-in-law is all up into it, and he's not really the kind to mess with his mother-in-law I don't think.
The worst of it I think is the kids wearing amber necklaces, actual health concerns are dealt with by a real doctor.
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Stay shook. No sook. |
1st June 2010, 01:27 | #22 |
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Skipping a feed causes mastitis? Haha pull the other one, midwife tell you that gem? I can hear her now... "It's your fault, you shouldn't have skipped a feed, feed on demand, you've given him/her nipple confusion by giving him/her a bottle/dummy/anything non natural/hippie"
After having mastitis twice with our first, and listening to midwives who would just spout "PERSIST WITH BREAST FEEDING NO MATTER THE COST! IT'S THE ONLY FIX FOR MASTITIS, YOU MUST CLEAR THE BREAST NATURALLY!!!!" we went to a specialist breast surgeon who said "Nah, fuck no. Just stop. Stop pumping, stop expressing, stop everything. It will all just clear up." Asked our LMC (specialist obs) who agreed, just stop, if you have any worries I will chuck you on antibiotics at the first sign of infection. Sure enough.... All cleared up, milk supply dried up, baby on formula = much happier family. MadMax: All babies are not created equal, also all nipples are not created equal. Some babies have a smaller mouth, shorter tongue.. some mums, larger nipples, smaller breasts... any number of combined things to make latching/feeding harder to get perfect resulting in damaged bruised, cracked, bleeding, then infected nipples/breasts and thus extreme 'suffering'. The other thing is, some babies just like sucking or chewing. Our youngest for example would NEVER open his mouth wide enough and would ALWAYS readjust, no matter how good the initial latch. So he would pull back, bite on the end of the nipple, chew for a bit, get frustrated, chew some more and generally fuck the whole thing up. He even did this while on the bottle, I'd watch him nibble the end of the teat for a good while before letting it into his mouth. So yeah that midwife on your shoulder who loves to paint everything with the same bullshit brush can fuck off. Honestly, I don't think there is any branch of the current standard health care system which is even close to being as useless and counterproductive as midwives. |
1st June 2010, 01:44 | #23 |
A mariachi ogre snorkel
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A counterpoint:
When my daughter Vianne was born, she didn't put on weight very fast. In fact when she left the hospital, she weighed less than she did at birth, and she put on almost nothing in the first week - and that's with regular breastfeeding. Got to the point where we were getting quite worried. We had a followup with a midwife who agreed that it was a matter of concern, and she basically said "Your baby may be drinking lots of breast milk, but I don't think she's drinking the RIGHT breast milk." (cue "wtf are you on about hippy" raised eyebrow from me) Midwife Gillian's advice was that the first 50ml or so of breast milk from a full breast is basically just sweet-tasting watery non-nutritious liquid. It's sweet, baby gets a blood-sugar kick from it, gets a slightly full tummy and the urge to feed subsides. But it's basically junk food, and if Vianne was feeding frequently but not for long, she wouldn't be getting any nutrition from the milk. Gillian's advice was for Princess to express 50-100ml of the watery "foremilk" before breastfeeding so that Vianne would be drinking the rich, fatty breastmilk that comes afterwards and that actually contains kilojoules - the "hindmilk". This sounded like witchcraft to me and I thought about calling for torches, but I figured what the hell, give it a crack. And it worked. Immediately. We - and by we I of course mean "Princess" - expressed milk immediately before feeding time, and Vianne started piling on weight like a baby is supposed to. So yeah. I learned something I previously didn't know about breasts. And a midwife's advice kicked ass. |
1st June 2010, 01:45 | #24 | |
Huh?
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*million |
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1st June 2010, 01:57 | #25 |
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Ab, we also learned that exact same point after being in the same situation (BTW as far as I know, all babies drop slightly from their birth weight in the first few days) but we had to learn what you learned from reading and talking to actual doctors. Not sure midwives in NZ are up to the same standard as those in Aus?
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1st June 2010, 02:07 | #26 |
Stunt Pants
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All this talk of tits and no actual pictures is grinding my gears.
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I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner? |
1st June 2010, 02:14 | #27 | |
A mariachi ogre snorkel
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I will say this - both my kids were born in a private hospital, attended by an obstetrician with any of a group of maybe four midwives on hand depending on who was on duty during any particular hour of labour. I could not be happier with the professionalism and expertise of them all. The women I describe as "midwives" all came across as experienced medical professionals, not hippy earth mothers dangling crystals over the bed. |
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1st June 2010, 07:02 | #28 |
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Same here, private all the way but if that's your experience then don't ever have kids in NZ. If there's a midwife here that could be described as a "medical professional" I haven't met or heard of them.
For eg, last kid was born at 23:40 so only one midwife on deck (Obstetrician, theatre nurses, anesthetics reg. etc - as it was an emergency cesarean) And this midwife, who was supposed to be senior, needed my help to measure and weigh the baby (she couldn't work the scales in that theatre) which she ended up getting completely wrong. Hate them. |
1st June 2010, 08:47 | #29 | |
Mrs Colin Farrell
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Imo a midwive is pretty much useless when it comes to breast feeding. Lactation consultants, however, are not. What I learnt from the consultant was that if mastitis isn't attended to in the first 24 hours then the infection will go nuts - cue my abscesses. Of course I didn't find this out until I was in hospital. My midwife (who was a different midwife from my birthing one btw) was the whole "clear the breast naturally, apply hot flannels, cue cabbage leaves etc" when I was there in agony with a tit as hard as a rock. Also, yeah skipping a feed can bring on mastitis?! Did your obstetrician tell you it couldn't *snort* The baby starts to feed at longer intervals, starts sleeping through the night, and you wake up in the morning with tits the size of watermelons, bursting at the seams. My infection came on after a night of sleep. For the tl;dr - breast feeding bad, bottle feeding good, tits that haven't been damaged by the ravages of an infant are good. |
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1st June 2010, 08:56 | #30 |
I have detailed files
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Lactation consultant.
Grrr - yet another vocation the bloody guidance counsellor declined to mention. |
1st June 2010, 09:05 | #31 | |
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With our second, my wife just cold turkey stopped feeding and/or expressing at 4 weeks when her supply was high. Breasts went huge, hard as rocks, super painful for a few days then .... just went down. No mastitis. |
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1st June 2010, 10:27 | #32 | |
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People need to accept that every mother and baby are different. Some women are fucking sooks, some are hard bastards. All have differing thresholds of pain and tolerance. All mothers though, should be able to make their own decisions, and sadly I know this doesn't happen. There's always someone trying to stick their oar in somewhere, be it midwife, family or husband. There's always something to feel guilty about when you have a baby! Breastfeeding is merely the tit of the iceberg Reading that a burglar strangled a pet dog GMG |
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1st June 2010, 10:34 | #33 | |
Don't worry, be harpy
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chiquelet - Amber beads have not been mentioned. Probably because the homeopathic snake oil conversation went so terribly wrong... |
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1st June 2010, 10:34 | #34 |
Pornstar
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Have no complain of midwifery in NZ, I think we used dominoes midwifes or something, cant remember. I'm glad our one wasn't there on the night, had a staunch hippy that told my wife to harden up. In retrospect the delivery was the easiest part of having a baby, in comparison to the first 12 months.
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1st June 2010, 10:48 | #35 |
I have detailed files
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I have no love for NZ Midwives - they outright refused to give any advice on alternatives to breast feeding at the anté natal classes. And then bingo - kid wouldn't take the boob, and the old girl was left high and dry to work it out on her own. Nurses at the private hospital were bloody awesome. As was the bit where they brought me in a cooked lunch to eat in front of the wife when she was fasting prior to the Ceasar.
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1st June 2010, 11:00 | #36 | |
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Your midwife may have rocked as you say but I doubt anyone would mistake her for a "medical professional" We dealt with so many with both kids, initially in antenatal class, in hospital for 2 unexpected and extended stays and while out at home. All were slack, always reaching for the easy (and totally hippy/non clinical) explanation/diagnosis/treatment. One was even negligent to a utterly criminal extent resulting in severe consequences for us. A sad thing about the health profession is that it's so unbelievably steeped in tradition, and that is the only thing keeping the mockery that is midwifery in business. |
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1st June 2010, 11:19 | #37 | |
Pornstar
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Its Business time |
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1st June 2010, 11:24 | #38 | |
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Ξ √ Ω L U T ↑ ☼ N وكل يوم كنت تعيش في العبودية Last edited by crocos : 1st June 2010 at 11:27. |
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1st June 2010, 11:38 | #39 | |
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1st June 2010, 13:50 | #40 |
Don't worry, be harpy
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Midwives are interesting creatures. I know of some people who claim to have had good ones, but everyone I've actually met has hated theirs.
My first was an apathetic cow who took 20 minutes before handing my baby over to me, and couldn't care less about getting the feeding right. My second .. well. She might have been a great midwife, I'll give her that. However she knew damn well that she was going to be on a course on the week I was due and didn't mention this until 2 weeks before I was due, giving me the number of her second (who I'd never met). When I did actually have sprog on the date I was supposed to, the second midwife was resentful and blamed me for "not holding on" til the original midwife was back. Original midwife then flipped into "couldn't care less" mode when she returned. Just lovely. While I'm pleased that eff tee had a great midwife, I think she may well be the exception to the rule - all the ones I've encountered have been careless and blase about the whole thing, not staying up with important developments, not giving a crap about the mothers health or comfort, and with a spectacular attitude that we should then be grateful that they have deigned to birth our babies and owe it to them to have fantastically quick easy births. Pretty damn irritating at a time when you really really don't need the irritation. |