What grinds your gears?

[smudge]

While I'm ranting about the web design industry: My partner is in change of the web site for her work. It's drupal cms/ecomerce thing, done by one of auckland's big name design companies.

- It's a CMS, but they actively resist helping the customer learn how to use it themselves. Everything is on the clock and "it's much easier if we do it for you".

- She asks me why it's not getting decent search ranking. I look at it and find most of the big "marketing campaign" pages have been implemented mostly as images without the product names appearing anywhere in the source.

- The owner of the company sits in a meeting with her, and her boss and says doing a redesign of the site is what's needed to boost the search engine ranking. But during the redesign process they're continually being told by the people actually doing the work "we can't make that structural change, this is just a reskin".

- I got her to install a google pagerank extension prior to the upgrade and screen shot those "marketing campaign" pages showing the pagerank. Months after the redesign has gone live, none of those pageranks have changed at all, or any pagerank anywhere else on the site.

- The client is continually emphasizing the custom development they are needing, at the start of the project they get told that will be done later. At the end of the project when asked where it was they say "that wasn't in the spec". I think they can't actually do development themselves, all they can do is implement a drupal / shopping cart site.

The more I work in this industry the more I think it's bs

edit: forgot this one, they decide to start using facebook more, so the design company convinces them every campaign on facebook has to land on a custom designed landing page, because facebook users don't like landing on some "random page in the website".

[TnT]

Fuck that, I'm currently doing a few websites for customers using drupal and that's my selling point. 'Look I just set up the infrastructure, give you a 'how to manual' and then the only time you need to talk to me is if you want functional changes.

You shouldn't have to pay to update your own content,that's just... well wrong.

Originally Posted by CCS

News just to hand: Rince of nzgames hates orphans, kicks kittens.

Not exactly news there big guy.

[Spoon1]

Smudge, as far as Auckland companies go, I can vouch for Sparks Interactive as a drupal shop that won't do what you've described. Their most recent site (that I'm aware of) is http://www.healthyfood.co.nz/ which is hosted with us.

(Disclaimer: I work in the same office as their Wellington Crew, which used to be Breathe Communications before being sold to Sparks and we (Modica Group) host sites for them - but that's how I know them, from a sysadmin point of view.)

/end_pimp

[Delphinus]

There is a line thouogh. You give some people access to change their own content, and you end up with 20 navigation items disappearing over and out the right side of the screen, a number of <blink> marquee's and "SEO" keywords in bright red bold text "Because I thought people liked colour".

*Maybe not quite that bad, but you get the idea. If you give a client access to update their own site, you have to remove it from your portfolio.

[Juju]

I went to Zeald recently with a concept for a website I'm hoping to create in the next year or so.

All they do is cookie cutter websites on their own servers with a bit of seo thrown in. Anything out of the box (Like my website idea which requires building some backend programs... nothing complicated at all really... as in I've built a rough beta myself in php/perl even though I have zero, literally zero php/perl/any progamming experience before making these programs) they look at like with a "wut" face.

I'm sure they're good for your mum and dad businesses that simply want a point of presence on the trontubes, but anything technical you'd best go elsewhere with more customisation experience.

On that note... smudge... do you have any contact details? Website?

[xor]

Painkiller and anti-inflammatories are fun but not when you need to concentrate

[Brutus]

So today I got a screenshot.jpg attached to a trouble ticket.

Of a desktop, with word document open, In that word document was another screenshot of a desktop with an error message I couldn't actually read.

[A Corpse]

Inception!

[CCS]

Huge organisations that are internally dysfunctional. Take ASB. For the most part, I quite enjoy their service. But I changed my address on the FastNet website a few months back when I moved house. Today, I had to collect some mail from my old landlord. I had received a Kiwisaver newsletter at my old address. Why the fuck does the address that I changed on the website not propagate to every ASB service I use throughout ASB? Fucking muppets.

Anyway, I emailed them about it and got a response right away. No real explanation as to why the change of address is not really a change of address, but a promise to forward my new address to the Kiwisaver team

At the same time I had asked how I can log view my Kiwisaver balance online. Well, it's a different website. You can't view your stuff in FastNet. It's just not integrated. I understand that not every person with ASB Kiwisaver has an ASB bank account and vice versa, but seriously, this could be better. At the very least, let me have the same login credentials across each cunting website. Their Kiwisaver website turns out to have the very obvious name of Master Trust. I was told "You would have received the Access Code and Password for this site via regular post shortly after your KiwiSaver account was opened." Yeah nah. Regular post. They sent me a piece of paper to fuck knows where. What the fuck do I want with a piece of paper? I probably just wiped my arse with it, assuming I ever received it. Speaking of which, why the fuck are you sending me a Kiwisaver newsletter on nice glossy paper? Fucking send me a pdf. Send me my goddamn login details via gmail or via ASBs FastNet message service. IT'S THE 21ST GODFUCKING CENTURY. USE THE TECHNOLOGIES! Fucks sake


Just looking through my FastNet mail... this from Feb 2011:

Hi ASB

I see on the FastNet site that ASB has my correct address details but mail regarding my insurance policies seems to have an incorrect address. How can I change this?

Thanks
Chief Crazy Schlong

Your account records shows that your accounts currently have the below address.

...

If you would like your insurance details updated to your new address, you will need to please phone the Insurance team on 0800 ...

That was for my last address where I'd been living for about 4 years by that time and insurance was still sending me mail to the wrong address. I don't even know what address their insurance department has for me at the moment but I vaguely recall getting a piece of paper in the Regular Post saying "hey, we figured out that you've got this address and we've been sending your mail to another address and DERP DERP POTATO!" I just can't tell if the details they have are current because I can't review my details online or even review my policies online, which means I'll have to call them and make sure they know what they're doing. I use FastNet for a reason: so that I can do my shit at my convenience and so that ASB can employ fewer pesky humans. Technology should be an enabler of efficiencies.

FUCKING MUPPETS. Left hand, meet right hand. Now talk.

[Juju]

I would akin it to a house ("ASB") housing a family. Each family member is a subsidiary (ASB, IAG, ASB Investments, Master Trust etc).

They sometimes share stuff over the dinner table, but a lot of shit doesn't get shared.
"Hey bankmum, where's the remote?" "I dunno, ask your InsuranceDad".

[CCS]

I think change of address is something pretty basic that can be easily remedied. Not to do so causes all sorts of annoyance for the customer.

TBH, I don't give a flying finger fuck how many entities they have. It's up to them to get it right. I don't care how, just fucking do it. They have an Android mindset when they should have an iPhone mindset. Just work, cunts.

[TnT]

Funny, on the other side of that coin.

Customer: 'I'd like to re-order a book that had <specific order number> and was sent to <specific address>"

Me: Certainly I can sort that out, *hits reorder button, which sends confirmation email of specifics of order, including the address this order will be dispatched to*

*customer pays, book disptached*

*fast forward 4 weeks*

Customer: 'My order hasn't arrived yet, where is it'
Me: 'The couriers tracking website says it was left at the delivery address 9 days ago' (secondary gear grind, when I provide you with the details of your order, you know the tracking number, the website you can go to, to actually track your item... why do you ring me and ask me to do it?)
Customer: "I TOLD YOU I MOVED, THIS IS MY NEW ADDRESS"
Me: 'Um... no you didn't, all the correspondence we have had only mentions your old address, the confirmation email, the one with the link you HAD to click on to pay for it, had the delivery address that this order was going to right there in black and white... at what point did you expect this to magically go to your new address?"

Seriously, you didn't fucking tell me you've changed address, everything you've said talked about your old address... and it's MY fault?

[doppelgänger of someone]

In my experience people (men and women) generally take a "Sorry I can't help you with that" much better from a woman, preferably with a youthful enthusiastic voice.

If I were you, I would offer to change the address in your database right away as a "compensation". Suggest the customer to go around the old address to pick up her (I'm guessing that is a she) order. In all likelihood the people at the old address will have the order stashed somewhere unopened.

[TnT]

Oh don't worry it's been dealt with in an extremely helpful and friendly manner, starting with an apology. Customer is now happy, and buying another book.

My last response to the customer did not happen as I posted at all, that's just how it went in my head

NZG is just my venting ground, thanks robots.txt.

[[WanG] Wandarah]

Originally Posted by Juju

I would akin it to a house ("ASB") housing a family. Each family member is a subsidiary (ASB, IAG, ASB Investments, Master Trust etc).

They sometimes share stuff over the dinner table, but a lot of shit doesn't get shared.
"Hey bankmum, where's the remote?" "I dunno, ask your InsuranceDad".

Well, yes - what you've done here is say what that other cunt said, but in way fewer words. Corporates in other countries - with what I assume are carbon-based bipeds working within them, have managed to overcome these seemingly insurmountable obstacles though.

Online services in NZ, bar one or two examples, are fucking shit. When you consider the massive and (almost) immediate adoption of the Internet in NZ, it's bizarre to think that many local services are either non-existent, or difficult to use. Early Internet Adopters are to blame, those cunts and fucking Stileproject. For example.

ANZ still refuse to send us electronic transaction lists every month. It's all paper (has anyone managed to make them do this? I can't imagine that it's impossible, I just cant...) which is so fucking retarded I cannot type any more.

[CCS]

This ^^^


There are two reasons why we have problems like that.

1) IT Mexi-can'ts and not enough Mexi-cans. (too many mexi-cunts too)

2) Too many people that run shit these days did not grow up with computers and still haven't really figured this shit out yet. Even from my generation there are not enough people who who grew up with computers and so they never think to say "yeah we can just get a computer to do that menial shit". Instead we have these old people who want a bunch of paper in their hands because otherwise they are terrified. Then they give the paper to other people to do the donkey work.

At work, we only in the last few months convinced other departments that computers are good for shit like this. We have a bunch of complex schedules run by computers, and then we would have about a ream of paper each day with which to tick off each line when those schedules ran to plan, and to write changes on when the schedules deviated from the plan. Of course, all changes were reflected on the computer schedules (the 'as-run') and you could either print that off at the end of the day or you could spit it out into something like a txt file. But noooo, if someone isn't writing shit on dead trees with a fucking ball-point pen, then some living fossils start getting antsy.

[xor]

Hi office guy,

I know you think you're a pro cyclist what with your 10k bike and all but could you please not use a fan to dry your bike shorts over the chair in your office.

Thanks,


IT Janitor Steve

[CCS]

lolling!

[Baal]

Originally Posted by smudge

The more I work in this industry the more I think it's bs

it thrives on BS.

[p-b]

Originally Posted by [WanG] Wandarah

ANZ still refuse to send us electronic transaction lists every month. It's all paper (has anyone managed to make them do this? I can't imagine that it's impossible, I just cant...) which is so fucking retarded I cannot type any more.

THIS.

Pisses me off that ANZ have to send me paper statements.

Whenever I've asked them "the law requires us to do it..."

Don't other banks do this???

That said though, I have found their contact centre staff to be generally pretty awesome and helpful whenever I've called them about anything else.

[Saladin]

I'm with Westpac, they require paper statements for Credits Cards and Home Loans - but savings / current accounts I don't get any statements at all and just use internet banking.

[p-b]

Credit card statements are the one thing especially that I do not want as physical, loseable, mail.

A lot of laws* take email into account now as legally acceptable form of correspondence. Has banking law not been updated in the same way?

*may not be true...

[Pepsi]

I'm with ASB and was able to disable all paper statements (including credit card). The ability to stop the credit card mail didn't really become available until end of last year/early last year though.

[xor]

If you want to complain about online banking systems, check out the UK.

[[WanG] Wandarah]

I was with HSBC in the UK - they were light years ahead of, well, ANZ here - though I understand the ASB online system is pretty good.

[[WanG] Wandarah]

Originally Posted by Pepsi

I'm with ASB and was able to disable all paper statements (including credit card). The ability to stop the credit card mail didn't really become available until end of last year/early last year though.

Seems Westpac do the same -

How can I stop receiving my paper statements?

Just log on to Online Banking and choose "Stop the Statements" on the left hand navigation. If you need a copy of a statement you can download it in a PDF format by following the "View statements" link on your transaction list.

This 'law' shit ANZ are so fucking fond of appears to be total bullshit.

Edit: And the Electronic Transactions Act *2002* says:

The regulations state that the lender can give the information in electronic form, whether by electronic communication (such as email or fax) or otherwise, only if the borrower:

has been given the option of receiving the information in electronic or paper-based form, and
has expressly consented to the electronic form and, if applicable, to it being sent by electronic communication
"Express consent" means a positive indication of consent that is specific to the matter consented to. The regulations state, as an example, that if you check a box to select the option of receiving the information in electronic form, you will have expressly consented. If, however, you sign an agreement that includes, among other terms, a term that says you consent to receiving the information in electronic form, the regulations state that this is not express consent.

Fuck you ANZ!

[Cowboy]

The westpac one stops your normal statements but not your credit card ones. I rang and asked them to stop my credit card ones and they said they couldn't.

[[WanG] Wandarah]

And cause I've had a couple of beers I've just rang ANZ and asked them when they'll offer this service.

Turns out they do, sorta - you can stop paper statements being sent as of a month ago. You can download 'em in PDF - but ANZ can't send them to you via Email or anything. It's in the pipeline, but no ETA.

[StN]

Did you offer to put something in their pipeline, or had you not had that many beers?

[[WanG] Wandarah]

I flirted a bit, but being a professional, I only hinted at positions, passages and access points.

[crocos]

Originally Posted by p-b

THIS.

Pisses me off that ANZ have to send me paper statements.

Whenever I've asked them "the law requires us to do it..."

Don't other banks do this???

That said though, I have found their contact centre staff to be generally pretty awesome and helpful whenever I've called them about anything else.

BNZ gives you the option: Online statements (as separate from the general transational stuff) through Internet Banking is available for personal customers.

Been available for a few years now.

[p-b]

So called ANZ and stopped my general account statements.

Asked them when it might be changed that I don't have to get credit card statements sent and the reason I was told was that because it was lending that they had to be sent, or something like that.

Just wish they could obscure, or show only the last 4 digits of my credit card number on my physical statement.

[Erazhure]

Originally Posted by Cowboy

The westpac one stops your normal statements but not your credit card ones. I rang and asked them to stop my credit card ones and they said they couldn't.

Weird. I stopped all mine, including Credit card about a year ago. i get no mail from WestPac at all. love it.

[crocos]

Aah, the joyous sensation obtained by wiping one's eye with a finger coated in chilli juices.

Just glad it wasn't a habanero this time, but instead the MUCH milder rocoto (which are also much fruitier in flavour - awesome in stir-fry, for stuffing & grilling, or in Thai beef salad, which was the use to which I put this one)

[chiquelet]

4 computer generated silent calls so far today. Line is completely silent for about 5 seconds and then a computer-generated voice says "goodbye". It's a pita. I'd rather deal with the Indian "your computer has a virus" scammers, because at least you can fuck with them before hanging up.

[Ab]

Originally Posted by crocos

Aah, the joyous sensation obtained by wiping one's eye with a finger coated in chilli juices.

Just glad it wasn't a habanero this time

Jesus fuck dude, don't even joke about that shit. I've got a bottle of home-made habanero sauce made by the chef at my fave Sydney mexican place in 2000 in the fridge. Now I likes my hot food, but that shit is so fucking napalm that the bottle is still half-full after twelve years of drunken hot-food binges.

The thought of getting it near my eyes makes my nuts tighten in sheer anticipation of the pain.

[madmaxii]

Not quite a chilli story but:

Was licking some wasabe from the end of my finger and then had a combination of a cough and a sneeze. The wasabe proceeded up my sinus passages and out through my tear duct into my eye. Now that was not a nice way to ingest.

[StN]

Originally Posted by crocos

Aah, the joyous sensation obtained by wiping one's eye with a finger coated in chilli juices.

Be thankful you didn't take a whiz...

[crocos]

Originally Posted by Ab

Jesus fuck dude, don't even joke about that shit.

I wasn't joking. I cook with habanero chillis and the like fairly regularly: I've suffered through the touch-the-eye pain before... and even the pain that StN just alluded to, which isn't actually THAT bad, similar to deep heat - in the eye is definitely worse.

I'm sure GT has suffered similarly with his predilection for growing and consuming Scorpions, Habaneros, etc.

[cyc]

http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/america...r-warning-shot

Marissa Alexander had never been arrested before she fired a bullet at a wall one day in 2010 to scare off her husband when she felt he was threatening her.

Nobody got hurt, but this month a Florida judge in the US was bound by state law to sentence her to 20 years in prison.

Undoubtedly she deserved to be convicted. But 20 years jail? Another brilliant job by US politicians.