I ate all the pies

Simon · 18th July 2003, 03:56

Got invited along to what I thought was a social game of touch tonight. I didn't know much about it, just assumed it was going to be a friendly run-around.

How wrong I was. Somehow I'd been tricked into turning up to TEAM TRAINING as a fill-in for a missing player. I spent two and a half hours doing shuttle-run sprints, smashing into tackle bags, shoving a 16th-century scrum machine around the field, and getting pummelled in ruck-and-maul drills. I don't think I've ever felt so utterly out-of-shape in my entire life. I think I puked up a lung somewhere around the 120-minute mark. It hurts to type this.

Then the coach thanked me for coming along and told me to turn up for a seniors second-grade match on Saturday as they needed subs. I've somehow gone from thinking I was turning up to a social run-around into being drafted into the second row for a proper game. I'm going to fucking die.

Cookie · 18th July 2003, 04:03

Thats how the Aussies play, my friend. Go hard or go home

They're all pansies in Adelaide though, I would have thought you'd be fine with them.

Uncle Gus · 18th July 2003, 04:06

HAHAHA, lol at Simon!!

But good on you, bro. You're a better man than me for it.

MoP · 18th July 2003, 04:06

0wned

dylan · 18th July 2003, 04:09

did they, at any point, say that you could unsubscribe from their mailing list by simply sending an email to a particular address?

doppelgänger of someone · 18th July 2003, 04:10

Aussies play rugby? Huh? All the people in this part of Australia give me a blank stare whenever I mention the word 'rugby'. Or perhaps they like my hair. That must be it.

Cookie · 18th July 2003, 04:12

Quote:

Originally posted by doppelgänger of someone
Aussies play rugby? Huh? All the people in this part of Australia give me a blank stare whenever I mention the word 'rugby'. Or perhaps they like my hair. That must be it.

Where abouts are you?

Simon · 18th July 2003, 04:13

I haven't packed down with a scrum since I was about 16. Locking a scrum with serious adult players is... different. I'm gonna need headgear or a ton of tape for Saturday, my ears almost got ripped off tonight.

doppelgänger of someone · 18th July 2003, 04:20

Melbourne. I was told they love Aussie rule football here. Yuck.

Simon, you should stick with league

Cookie · 18th July 2003, 04:25

Quote:

Originally posted by doppelgänger of someone
Melbourne. I was told they love Aussie rule football here. Yuck.

BLASPHEMY!
In Melbourne, AFL is win. You should go to a game at the MCG. Nothing like it. I think it would change your mind about Victoria's favourite game.

"Carn the Dees!!!@#!"

Uncle Gus · 18th July 2003, 04:28

Quote:

Originally posted by doppelgänger of someone
Simon, you should stick with league

I think he'd rather play rugby.

markE · 18th July 2003, 08:46

Good luck for Saturday.

DigitalDroppings · 18th July 2003, 08:53

Quote:

Originally posted by Simon
Got invited along to what I thought was a social game of touch tonight. I didn't know much about it, just assumed it was going to be a friendly run-around.

How wrong I was. Somehow I'd been tricked into turning up to TEAM TRAINING as a fill-in for a missing player. I spent two and a half hours doing shuttle-run sprints, smashing into tackle bags, shoving a 16th-century scrum machine around the field, and getting pummelled in ruck-and-maul drills. I don't think I've ever felt so utterly out-of-shape in my entire life. I think I puked up a lung somewhere near the far 22 around the 120-minute mark. It hurts to type this.

Then the coach thanked me for coming along and told me to turn up for a seniors second-grade match on Saturday as they needed subs. I've somehow gone from thinking I was turning up to a social run-around into being drafted into the second row for a proper game. I'm going to fucking die.

I revisited my old boxing trainer's Gym about 6 weeks ago and was invited to spar with a young 18yr old prospect. All I can say that I was belted around the ring for about 10 mins before I had to cowar out. I thought I would still be relatively fit, as I still jog most days and hit the bags every couple of days. So it shows how much actual competitive sport keeps you really fit and 'on the ball' figuratively speaking.

Uncle Fes · 18th July 2003, 09:15

Just remember to do heaps of stretching,namely your back,neck...and hammys will get the mean workout too so give them plenty.You might be sore from your prac,but once you've warmed up and actually playing you should feel like a million bucks.
You the man!

I once went to my mates prac to watch,ended up on the wing that saturday cause in the prac,I zoomed around their left winger

So anyway.... after I got squashed by this Tongan bulldozer,I vowed to NEVER go to another prac in my life!He still haunts me:/

Deepee · 18th July 2003, 09:21

its only aussies man.
just cork you're ass up if you're with those forwards and you'll be fine, mate

.
also you should practice smashing your head against the wall so by saturday you should be able to comunicate with the jocks on an intellectual level too.

to ccomplete my jock post ill say : HARDEN UP PUSSY!

Hotstuff · 18th July 2003, 09:25

HAHAHA reading between the lines I can sense a part of you enjoyed it Simon.

Well done; your post may even result in a mass nationwide revival of physical activities and inspire half the nation to dig out their disused sports gear etc

/me thinks of badminton racquet in cupboard

Evilmonkey · 18th July 2003, 09:44

Yeh doesn't take much to let yourself go, you have to keep relativly active. Jogging just doesn't cut it. You have to actually work your muscles like doing a bit of sprinting at the end of your jog, to push your muscles.

I used to do next to nothing except a little roller blading after being extremely active. I still felt really fit and still looked fit. Then I did some social sport for 30 mins a week and my whole body would be sore for a couple of days after that. Its not cool

.

Now I do more exercise so I am not sore afterwards. I am only 23 too heh.

ChaosWulf · 18th July 2003, 09:50

Now that, right there, is called KARMA! Think twice before you sneak in any further EQ comments, barbarian swine!

Alucard · 18th July 2003, 10:01

some one here actually plays sport? Pfft.

DigitalDroppings · 18th July 2003, 10:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Alucard
some one here actually plays sport? Pfft.

I suppose if masterbating were a sport then most of us here would be world class athletes.

Nemises · 18th July 2003, 10:43

lol...bummer man...

christ I can imagine how I'd feel if asked to go back on the rugby field...I'd be wet'n me pants right about...*now*

Evilmonkey · 18th July 2003, 11:05

Quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDroppings
I suppose if masterbating were a sport then most of us here would be world class athletes.

Aparently masturbating reduces the risk of prostate cancer ... sorry lost the link maybe can find it again if anyones interested ... but yeh 5 times + a week is apparently healthy

. Although I recon you would get a bruised penis :P.

DigitalDroppings · 18th July 2003, 11:19

^^ especially if you have a strong grip.

Deepee · 18th July 2003, 11:49

Quote:

Originally posted by Evilmonkey
Aparently masturbating reduces the risk of prostate cancer ... sorry lost the link maybe can find it again if anyones interested ... but yeh 5 times + a week is apparently healthy . Although I recon you would get a bruised penis :P.

I too would believe any justification which would mask your masterbating insecurities.

Furry Crew · 18th July 2003, 11:53

Quote:

Originally posted by Evilmonkey
Aparently masturbating reduces the risk of prostate cancer ... sorry lost the link maybe can find it again if anyones interested ... but yeh 5 times + a week is apparently healthy . Although I recon you would get a bruised penis :P.

As requested

Wanking IS good for you!

DeepThroat · 18th July 2003, 13:07

Also seen in New Scientist

Markh · 18th July 2003, 14:02

Quote:

Originally posted by Evilmonkey
Aparently masturbating reduces the risk of prostate cancer ... sorry lost the link maybe can find it again if anyones interested ... but yeh 5 times + a week is apparently healthy . Although I recon you would get a bruised penis :P.

If wanking bruises your penis then I think it's safe to say your technique is flawed. Though 5 times a day could be a bit much, maybe.

catharsis · 18th July 2003, 14:05

Quote:

Originally posted by Simon
Got invited along to what I thought was a social game of touch tonight. I didn't know much about it, just assumed it was going to be a friendly run-around.

How wrong I was. Somehow I'd been tricked into turning up to TEAM TRAINING as a fill-in for a missing player. I spent two and a half hours doing shuttle-run sprints, smashing into tackle bags, shoving a 16th-century scrum machine around the field, and getting pummelled in ruck-and-maul drills. I don't think I've ever felt so utterly out-of-shape in my entire life. I think I puked up a lung somewhere near the far 22 around the 120-minute mark. It hurts to type this.

Then the coach thanked me for coming along and told me to turn up for a seniors second-grade match on Saturday as they needed subs. I've somehow gone from thinking I was turning up to a social run-around into being drafted into the second row for a proper game. I'm going to fucking die.

That is seriously one awesome effort Simon.. I'm 100% sure that I would actually die if I had to do that shit without at least three weeks or so of preparation.
Good on you.

te DrZyb · 18th July 2003, 14:25

Quote:

Originally posted by Cookie
BLASPHEMY!
In Melbourne, AFL is win. You should go to a game at the MCG. Nothing like it. I think it would change your mind about Victoria's favourite game.

"Carn the Dees!!!@#!"

telstra dome > MCG

dunno if this is true for every other non-nsw/qld state, but as a demonstration of how non-rugby'ish the rest of the country might be, in tassie we didn't get origin live, it was shown at 1030. i think we got some shitty movie for origin 1, some other shitty movie for origin 2 and ej whittens oldcuntstryingtoplayafl for origin 3. which was pretty shit.

the only live nrl game on fta tv here is the nrl final I think.

while this is pretty poor in general, on the upside, league is shit. if nrl was rugby union that'd be cool and i'd actually care about not seeing it on tele :\

scr · 18th July 2003, 14:35

Quote:

Originally posted by te DrZyb
telstra dome > MCG

dunno if this is true for every other non-nsw/qld state, but as a demonstration of how non-rugby'ish the rest of the country might be, in tassie we didn't get origin live, it was shown at 1030. i think we got some shitty movie for origin 1, some other shitty movie for origin 2 and ej whittens oldcuntstryingtoplayafl for origin 3. which was pretty shit.

the only live nrl game on fta tv here is the nrl final I think.

thats because channel 9 are fuckasses.

te DrZyb · 18th July 2003, 14:44

Quote:

Originally posted by scr
thats because channel 9 are fuckasses.

agreed

'cept it's called WIN here

WIN is not win! (?)

Evilmonkey · 18th July 2003, 14:49

Quote:

Originally posted by Markh
If wanking bruises your penis then I think it's safe to say your technique is flawed. Though 5 times a day could be a bit much, maybe.

I wouldnt know.

SpaceCowboy · 18th July 2003, 16:45

Quote:

Originally posted by Cookie
"Carn the Dees!!!@#!"

the fuck is this, some sort of australian mating call?

scr · 18th July 2003, 16:51

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceCowboy
the fuck is this, some sort of australian mating call?

hell no, cookie is a stupid victorian.

Simon · 18th July 2003, 17:55

At a guess I would say it's a mangling of "COME ON THE DEMONS"... Melbourne Football Club?

Cookie · 18th July 2003, 18:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Simon
At a guess I would say it's a mangling of "COME ON THE DEMONS"... Melbourne Football Club?

Correct, good sir.

AFL 0wns all. =P

Simon · 20th July 2003, 01:01

UPDATE: I am now sore in places where I didn't even know I had places.

pkp|ex · 20th July 2003, 01:45

The next few days after madness like that is the baddest

Last tuesday spent the day doing a recycle run, which is similar to a rubbish run where the guys ride on the back of a truck biffing bags in it, except I picked up shopping type bags and boxes of glass and paper and plastic and biffed it in the right department of the truck.

Am just coming off that same thing where various body parts scream 'what the fuck was that' for the the next few days

Good luck though simon

If you warm up the pain ( which I assume is that lactic acid stuff ) goes away and operations proceed as normal, till you cool down again. Throw some mongrel at some auzzies pls

cyc · 20th July 2003, 12:55

Quote:

Originally posted by Furry Crew
As requested

Wanking IS good for you!

Save a life, give head NOW

Simon · 21st July 2003, 16:47

Well, here's how it all turned out. I turned up at the ground on Saturday morning and found out that the second-grade team had numbers and didn't need (or really want) me, so I could either play in the reserves and maybe get a bit of game time, or play for the fourth-grade squad and get a full game. Fucked if I'd gone out and bought new boots and headgear and shit just to warm the bench, so I started at No. 4 for the fourth-grade team in their game. The pace wasn't too bad, but I was fucking knackered by midway through the second half. Injury-wise I came out OK, it was a pretty clean game -- I took an anonymous fist to the face in one maul, had some mountain of a guy stomp my right foot in another (foot now purple and yellow but nothing broken), and I have a couple of sets of racing stripes where some opposing players decided that an unfit yours truly wasn't rolling away from a tackle fast enough. I was basically irrelevant in the lineouts, as I knew none of the lineout calls, but I think I locked pretty well in the scrums... my fitness is shit, but my legs are still very strong. I even managed to pull off an emergency halfback impersonation at the back of one ruck without dropping the ball (thank god).

So, all things considered, a successful morning, even though the team lost the game. I could barely move come Saturday evening, but I had a good run around, did at least a few things right and nothing totally wrong... not bad for someone as out of practice as myself. And fuck, that first beer after the post-game shower tasted bloody amazing.

In order for the club to have insurance coverage in the event of injury, I had to officially register and pay membership fees to the Australian Rugby Union... so I guess I'm doing this every week until the end of the season

18th July 2003, 03:56	#1
Simon SHG	I ate all the pies Got invited along to what I thought was a social game of touch tonight. I didn't know much about it, just assumed it was going to be a friendly run-around. How wrong I was. Somehow I'd been tricked into turning up to TEAM TRAINING as a fill-in for a missing player. I spent two and a half hours doing shuttle-run sprints, smashing into tackle bags, shoving a 16th-century scrum machine around the field, and getting pummelled in ruck-and-maul drills. I don't think I've ever felt so utterly out-of-shape in my entire life. I think I puked up a lung somewhere around the 120-minute mark. It hurts to type this. Then the coach thanked me for coming along and told me to turn up for a seniors second-grade match on Saturday as they needed subs. I've somehow gone from thinking I was turning up to a social run-around into being drafted into the second row for a proper game. I'm going to fucking die.

18th July 2003, 04:03	#2
Cookie	Thats how the Aussies play, my friend. Go hard or go home They're all pansies in Adelaide though, I would have thought you'd be fine with them.

18th July 2003, 04:06	#3
Uncle Gus	HAHAHA, lol at Simon!! But good on you, bro. You're a better man than me for it.

18th July 2003, 04:09	#5
dylan Huh?	did they, at any point, say that you could unsubscribe from their mailing list by simply sending an email to a particular address?

18th July 2003, 04:10	#6
doppelgänger of someone	Aussies play rugby? Huh? All the people in this part of Australia give me a blank stare whenever I mention the word 'rugby'. Or perhaps they like my hair. That must be it.

18th July 2003, 04:13	#8
Simon SHG	I haven't packed down with a scrum since I was about 16. Locking a scrum with serious adult players is... different. I'm gonna need headgear or a ton of tape for Saturday, my ears almost got ripped off tonight.

18th July 2003, 04:20	#9
doppelgänger of someone	Melbourne. I was told they love Aussie rule football here. Yuck. Simon, you should stick with league

18th July 2003, 09:15	#14
Uncle Fes	Just remember to do heaps of stretching,namely your back,neck...and hammys will get the mean workout too so give them plenty.You might be sore from your prac,but once you've warmed up and actually playing you should feel like a million bucks. You the man! I once went to my mates prac to watch,ended up on the wing that saturday cause in the prac,I zoomed around their left winger So anyway.... after I got squashed by this Tongan bulldozer,I vowed to NEVER go to another prac in my life!He still haunts me:/ __________________ "Stand here!..Shoot many rockets,kill bad, blue people!".....

18th July 2003, 09:21	#15
Deepee	its only aussies man. just cork you're ass up if you're with those forwards and you'll be fine, mate . also you should practice smashing your head against the wall so by saturday you should be able to comunicate with the jocks on an intellectual level too. to ccomplete my jock post ill say : HARDEN UP PUSSY!

18th July 2003, 09:25	#16
Hotstuff	HAHAHA reading between the lines I can sense a part of you enjoyed it Simon. Well done; your post may even result in a mass nationwide revival of physical activities and inspire half the nation to dig out their disused sports gear etc /me thinks of badminton racquet in cupboard

18th July 2003, 09:44	#17
Evilmonkey	Yeh doesn't take much to let yourself go, you have to keep relativly active. Jogging just doesn't cut it. You have to actually work your muscles like doing a bit of sprinting at the end of your jog, to push your muscles. I used to do next to nothing except a little roller blading after being extremely active. I still felt really fit and still looked fit. Then I did some social sport for 30 mins a week and my whole body would be sore for a couple of days after that. Its not cool . Now I do more exercise so I am not sore afterwards. I am only 23 too heh.

18th July 2003, 09:50	#18
ChaosWulf Don't worry, be harpy	Now that, right there, is called KARMA! Think twice before you sneak in any further EQ comments, barbarian swine!

18th July 2003, 10:01	#19
Alucard	some one here actually plays sport? Pfft.

18th July 2003, 10:43	#21
Nemises	lol...bummer man... christ I can imagine how I'd feel if asked to go back on the rugby field...I'd be wet'n me pants right about...now

18th July 2003, 11:19	#23
DigitalDroppings	^^ especially if you have a strong grip.

18th July 2003, 13:07	#26
DeepThroat	Also seen in New Scientist

18th July 2003, 17:55	#35
Simon SHG	At a guess I would say it's a mangling of "COME ON THE DEMONS"... Melbourne Football Club?

20th July 2003, 01:01	#37
Simon SHG	UPDATE: I am now sore in places where I didn't even know I had places.

20th July 2003, 01:45	#38
pkp\|ex	The next few days after madness like that is the baddest Last tuesday spent the day doing a recycle run, which is similar to a rubbish run where the guys ride on the back of a truck biffing bags in it, except I picked up shopping type bags and boxes of glass and paper and plastic and biffed it in the right department of the truck. Am just coming off that same thing where various body parts scream 'what the fuck was that' for the the next few days Good luck though simon If you warm up the pain ( which I assume is that lactic acid stuff ) goes away and operations proceed as normal, till you cool down again. Throw some mongrel at some auzzies pls

21st July 2003, 16:47	#40
Simon SHG	Well, here's how it all turned out. I turned up at the ground on Saturday morning and found out that the second-grade team had numbers and didn't need (or really want) me, so I could either play in the reserves and maybe get a bit of game time, or play for the fourth-grade squad and get a full game. Fucked if I'd gone out and bought new boots and headgear and shit just to warm the bench, so I started at No. 4 for the fourth-grade team in their game. The pace wasn't too bad, but I was fucking knackered by midway through the second half. Injury-wise I came out OK, it was a pretty clean game -- I took an anonymous fist to the face in one maul, had some mountain of a guy stomp my right foot in another (foot now purple and yellow but nothing broken), and I have a couple of sets of racing stripes where some opposing players decided that an unfit yours truly wasn't rolling away from a tackle fast enough. I was basically irrelevant in the lineouts, as I knew none of the lineout calls, but I think I locked pretty well in the scrums... my fitness is shit, but my legs are still very strong. I even managed to pull off an emergency halfback impersonation at the back of one ruck without dropping the ball (thank god). So, all things considered, a successful morning, even though the team lost the game. I could barely move come Saturday evening, but I had a good run around, did at least a few things right and nothing totally wrong... not bad for someone as out of practice as myself. And fuck, that first beer after the post-game shower tasted bloody amazing. In order for the club to have insurance coverage in the event of injury, I had to officially register and pay membership fees to the Australian Rugby Union... so I guess I'm doing this every week until the end of the season