Only in America - The Thread

[Phantom]

Instead of creating a new thread every time one of these things pop up, I figure we should create a dedicated catch-all and keep all the regionalized lols in one place.

I'll start: $2b claim over parking meter illness

A woman in the US is wants US$1.7 billion (NZ$2.08b) in damages from a city council after claiming that "smart" parking meters are making her sick.

Denise Barton is suing the city of Santa Monica, California, claiming that radiation from the wireless signals emanating from the meters is causing ringing in her ears, ear infections and tightness on the back, left side of her neck.

"I know it seems a little big, but they can't do things that affect people's health without their consent. I think that's wrong," Barton said about the meters that use signals similar to Wi-Fi, Internet or cellular waves, the Santa Monica Daily Press reported this week.

Barton, who experienced neurological damage following a car accident as a young child, claims her problems started in April, not long after the city rolled out the meters.

Barton told the SMDP she was concerned because there was evidence, including a flag raised by the World Health Organisation, that the low-level radiation may cause cancer and other illnesses in humans.

Besides the US$1.7b claim, Barton also wants US$1.7m (NZ$2.08m) every month thereafter.

[GM]

"claiming that radiation from the wireless signals emanating from the meters is causing ringing in her ears, ear infections and tightness on the back, left side of her neck."

She drew the short straw with radiation poisoning. Perhaps she's suing so she can be a billionaire playgirl philanthropist instead?

[Mojo]

Hope she wins.

[Saladin]

All you people up there, in city hall, are fucking it up for the people thats in the streets!

[[WanG] Wandarah]

those who aren't managing their mental state very well exist in every country - appreciate the sentiment, but need some proper 'only in america' action going on.

i was going to suggest 'chick drinks herself to death with coke', but then realised...

[dylan]

To be frank, these sorts of things should not warrant attention.

"Woman claims that......." does not in and of itself justify any sort of publicity. Yes, we all realise how fucking retarded these sorts of claims are. I could go out tomorrow and with a good enough PR team / lawyer, claim that Celia Wade-Brown's new policy on public transport in Wellington had given me herpes and get it on Stuff.

That's stupid, and it only exacerbates the problem.

If this woman gets paid out (she won't), or if WCC responded to MY claim with some vouchers in apology or an expletive-filled rant about how I should appreciate my Mayor and just STFU, THAT would justify some sort of attention.

But it won't.

So my vote would be to reserve this thread for things that are actually completely fucked up (of which there are many), rather than reposting whatever the 'alternative media' thought would garner page views that day (read: generate them income).

Instead, things like Stella's lawsuit against McDonalds (yes, the woman who was burnt by the coffee, do you know the facts?) get more or less ignored or ridiculed because they get lumped into the same category as people who are claiming billions of dollars in damage because they are...well, fucked in the head, basically.

I guess in summary I'm saying, let's stay focused on things that are actually fucked up, and not simply every retard that makes a claim that shit is fucked up.

[IoriDyson]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5OWR...layer_embedded

From May 2010, an exchange between Michael D Higgins (who was elected President of Ireland last year) and Tea Party-loving radio guy Michael Graham on Irish radio.

[CCS]

I love how fiery he is!

[fixed_truth]

Childcare workers ran toddler 'fight club'
http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/america...ler-fight-club

[Dusty]

Originally Posted by IoriDyson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5OWR...layer_embedded

From May 2010, an exchange between Michael D Higgins (who was elected President of Ireland last year) and Tea Party-loving radio guy Michael Graham on Irish radio.

Reminds me of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI

[Ajax]

Originally Posted by dylan

To be frank, these sorts of things should not warrant attention.

Agreed. There are plenty of crackpots and dreamers filing frivolous lawsuits on any given day.

[Ab]

[Waldo]

hahaha thats awesome.

in saying that miscarriage is like 33% or some similar number, know one seems to talk about it, its weird. We had a couple, I figure its God's way of getting rid of really bad babies : ) hehe

[A Corpse]

"If your period is late, you'd better pay us some money or you're a bad Christian!!!"

[Trigger]

that is so good

[Cyberbob]

That scripture quote reads like it's a Savage Garden lyric

[chiQ]

Originally Posted by Ab

Soooo.....they inter a tampon?

[aR Que]

Bro, they're hardout Christians, they probably just squat over a bucket for a few days.

[ChaosWulf]

Originally Posted by Cyberbob

That scripture quote reads like it's a Savage Garden lyric

You bastard, that was totally uncalled for

[dylan]

Just checking but...everybody realises that's a pisstake, right?

[Cyberbob]

Originally Posted by ChaosWulf

You bastard, that was totally uncalled for

I'm not sure who I'm offending more, Savage Garden fans or Christians.

[CCS]

Originally Posted by dylan

Just checking but...everybody realises that's a pisstake, right?

You're no fun. BTW, I hope you bury your sperms when you expel them.

[fidgit]

Originally Posted by dylan

Just checking but...everybody realises that's a pisstake, right?

I think it says something about how extreme the American Christian movement has gotten, that it seemed entirely plausible to me.

[[WanG] Wandarah]

http://www.1011now.com/home/headline...167394325.html

[^BITES^]

Originally Posted by [WanG] Wandarah

http://www.1011now.com/home/headline...167394325.html

What .. the fuck.

[StN]

Dumb - and even more dumb is the old woman at the end saying that his name in sign language in no way resembles a gun. His name is Hunter. Of course it's supposed to look like a gun.

[CCS]

That's what braindead zero tolerance policies get you. I've read reports of similar ridiculous things at schools with this sort of policy.

[A Corpse]

Did they actually explain what the sign for his name is, or is it just implied?

[Cyberbob]

Sexually assaulted by a cop? Your fault.

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/201...nge/?mobile=nc

Last summer, a drunk Arizona police officer named Robb Gary Evans drove himself to a bar, flashed his badge to avoid paying cover at the door, and then walked up behind a woman, put his hand up her skirt, and ran his fingers over her genitals. A jury convicted him of sexual abuse, a felony with a maximum sentence of 2 and a half years in prison, and Evans was fired from the police force after an internal investigation.

Nevertheless, Arizona trial Judge Jacqueline Hatch, who was appointed to the bench by Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ), decided that Evans’ actions did not warrant jail time — sentencing him probation and 100 hours of community service. Evans also will not have to register as a sex offender. Yet, while Judge Hatch apparently did not view the disgraced former cop’s actions as particularly serious, she had some very harsh words for the woman he assaulted:

Bad things can happen in bars, Hatch told the victim, adding that other people might be more intoxicated than she was.

“If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you,” Hatch said.

Hatch told the victim and the defendant that no one would be happy with the sentence she gave, but that finding an appropriate sentence was her duty.

“I hope you look at what you’ve been through and try to take something positive out of it,” Hatch said to the victim in court. “You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability.”

Hatch said that the victim was not to blame in the case, but that all women must be vigilant against becoming victims.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change,” Hatch said that her mother used to say.

[crocos]

Wow. Sounds like a withered old bitch that's jealous she couldn't get felt-up if she paid for it.

[crocos]

... Or a suppressed rape victim who is living in denial, I guess. A "This chit got justice? Where's mine?!? Fuck her!" type of thing.

EDIT: Apparently mob-justice has made the judge apologise.

[cyc]

http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/america...armed-with-pen

A US police officer has shot and killed a one-armed, one-legged man in a wheelchair after the double amputee waved a metal object that turned out to be a pen.

Police spokeswoman Jodi Silva said the man cornered the officer at a group home on Saturday and was making threats while trying to stab the officer with the pen.

At the time, the officer did not know what man was waving, Silva said.

She said the man came "within inches to a foot" of the officer and did not follow instructions to calm down and remain still.

Supposedly this cop was "cornered" but the guy was in a wheelchair and was inches away from him. Yet the cop couldn't see what was in his hands but had time to grab a gun and shoot him.

Oh and this is Texas. Might explain a thing or two.

[Dusty]

Originally Posted by cyc

[url]
Supposedly this cop was "cornered" but the guy was in a wheelchair and was inches away from him. Yet the cop couldn't see what was in his hands but had time to grab a gun and shoot him.

Oh and this is Texas. Might explain a thing or two.

Dude, he was defending himself! As we all know the pen IS mightier than the sword.

...I'm here all night folks.

[dylan]

Originally Posted by Dusty

As we all know the pen IS mightier than the sword.

But isn't, it would seem, than the gun

[Dusty]

[Trigger]

two teenage boys lure a girl into their home, strangle her, throw body into recycling bin

why? for her BMX bike parts

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-...squales-death/

[aR Que]

i read it as they lured her in with promises of BMX parts?

[Trigger]

nigga stole my bike

yeah possibly my bad, may have misread
but they did take her bike afterwards... and someone in comments said "The articles states the motive was to steal parts of her bike."

guess we don't know true motivation

[TheBender]

Only an idiot would drive on the footpath to avoid a school bus.

Surely not

Yup - http://www.stuff.co.nz/motoring/7946...lds-idiot-sign

[Caesar]

Wifey ran over hubbie coz he didn't vote in the recent election.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/7960...ro-Romney-wife