Stuff.co.nz - champeon fo teh poof reeding. - Page 7

CCS · 21st December 2008, 14:05

Letter is a fake

It's a Herald article about how a guy sent a chain letter which was bogus. WTF?

Also, sky is blue, moon found not to be made of cheese, water is wet.

CCS · 21st December 2008, 14:09

Oh god... and from the very same 'journalist' - Conchords just get better and better.

Quote:

An American-based New Zealander says the new Conchords series is delivering the goods despite the comedians' writing concerns.

The first episode has been watched by more than 175,000 Americans online, and Maryland-based Kiwi Jason Currie said the show was every bit as brilliant as the first series.

"The guys are superb - but Murray the manager [played by Rhys Darby] is better than ever. He almost steals the show."

Highlights of the first episode include the Conchords falling out with Murray, who's taken up with a new band - The Crazy Dogs.

Some of the best laughs are at Murray's regular meeting with the comedians. When he tells the Conchords their CD has gone double platinum in America, Jemaine's laconic response is: "How'd that happen?"

The excitement soon fizzles as Murray realises he's referring to The Crazy Dogs.

Jemaine then gives Brett a nod. Brett digs into his pocket and from a tiny piece of paper reads: "Dear Murray we want to fire you as our manager".

They head their separate ways, until the comedians run into strife over not having work permits or Green Cards.

What the fuck? That reads like a 10 year old had written it. "What I saw on telly last night."
Seriously, don't let this Anna Leask woman write again.

StN · 22nd December 2008, 16:53

Quote:

Canty blitz nets 60 drivers over the limit
Monday, 22 December 2008

Nearly 60 drivers will be facing charges after a police drink-driving sting in Canterbury over the weekend.

More than 8600 drivers were tested between Friday and Sunday, with 56 returning results over the legal alcohol limit, said Acting Senior Sergeant Greg Murton of Road Policing Canterbury.

60... nearly 60.. Ok, 56 then.

caffiend · 23rd December 2008, 10:46

From the Herald:

Quote:

Violent video game ad sneaks into kids' viewing time

...

But she said advertisements for the R18 game technically ran at the correct time, after the 8.30pm watershed.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ectid=10549409

Soooo... the ad in fact didn't "sneak into" kids' viewing time; it played at the time it was allowed to.

Nice story, Herald.

StN · 23rd December 2008, 11:00

^^^ Yeah, I'm willing to be proven wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was on Sunday...

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeraldTard

A light tale of Christmas morality was interspersed with the quote "kill your best friend or die" on TV2 on Monday, in an apparent clash of messages between programming and advertising.

The Herald understands an advertisement for video game Grand Theft Auto 4 featuring the bizarre quote was played twice during the movie The Santa Clause 2, which began at 7.30pm.

Luse · 23rd December 2008, 11:04

That's such a nothing story.

:|

Gentl e · 23rd December 2008, 12:41

Hastings millionaire mum on arrest reports

Congratulations Mr Kelt, you're a mum??

[Malks] Pixie · 23rd December 2008, 12:53

Yeah that one fucked me off too...

Pixie

CCS · 23rd December 2008, 12:54

There is an alternative meaning to the word mum...

crocos · 23rd December 2008, 15:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCS

There is an alternative meaning to the word mum...

This man speaketh yon truth!

Gentl e · 23rd December 2008, 15:05

*Slaps head*

lol, he could've just stayed mum on the subject to make me feel smart.

fidgit · 23rd December 2008, 21:40

Oh I thought you were complaining because it's a stupid use of the expression, as it leads to a double-meaning with a rediculous inferance.

I'd have still complained for that reason. Herald and Stuff seem to go out of their way to write stupid, illogical, or out-right incorrect headlines. It's like they take a personal pride in being poor at their jobs.

(ok fine, I just defined their entire product, but they take special care with the headlines)

fidgit · 23rd December 2008, 21:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by StN

^^^ Yeah, I'm willing to be proven wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was on Sunday...

So I just saw the ad, and the whole quote is "You are given a choice, kill your best friend or die. What kind of a choice is that?"

God, they even edit down the quote to make it sensationalistic.

Luse · 24th December 2008, 11:24

So which is it?

Yesterdays story:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4800977a11.html

Quote:

Firefighters had to use airbags to lift the weight off his tiny body. He was taken by Westpac rescue helicopter to Wellington Hospital's intensive care unit with serious injuries, including broken bones.

Todays story:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4802096a11.html

Quote:

An off-duty police officer and her sister found untapped strength to lift an 800-kilogram mini-train engine from the crushed body of a tiny two-year-old trapped beneath.

CCS · 24th December 2008, 11:27

lol, fail

BathTub · 24th December 2008, 23:51

That is a good one.

dead goon · 25th December 2008, 00:14

so, so worrying

flic · 25th December 2008, 15:08

Headline reads:

How not to get burgled this Christmas

Article includes tips such as:

Mark your property so it can be easily identified if recovered.

Take photos of unique items such as jewellery and ornaments

Yes, I see how that would help you not get burgled

Whiplash · 29th December 2008, 21:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCS

Seriously, don't let this Anna Leask woman write again.

Or these two - Nappies at dawn as yummy mummy forum fight gets nasty

A newspost about people on an internet forum being bitchy. OH NOES!

combatspoon · 30th December 2008, 01:49

Quote:

Mr Saunders said it was believed there were enough life jackets the pleasure for everyone on board.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4805511a11.html

blynk · 5th January 2009, 13:11

Kiwis keen on moving summer holidays to February

"The poll found that 44 per cent of the people believe that the summer holiday period should be moved from December to February, when the weather is warmer, compared to 51 per cent, who would like to leave it as it is. Another 5 per cent were undecided."

No, actually Kiwis are keen on leaving the holidays where they are. 51% is greater than 44%

caffiend · 5th January 2009, 13:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by blynk

Kiwis keen on moving summer holidays to February

"The poll found that 44 per cent of the people believe that the summer holiday period should be moved from December to February, when the weather is warmer, compared to 51 per cent, who would like to leave it as it is. Another 5 per cent were undecided."

No, actually Kiwis are keen on leaving the holidays where they are. 51% is greater than 44%

I think there's an implied 'Some' or even 'Many' missing from the beginning of the headline, but even so... pretty douchey.

Dusty · 5th January 2009, 13:25

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4809713a11.html

Same story.

Different tone.

Half of Kiwis.....Almost half of Kiwis...okay - 44% of Kiwis...

*sigh*

Diirk · 5th January 2009, 14:23

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4809215a13.html

Quote:

In a central Wellington New World supermarket, a dozen Tui on special yesterday cost $13.99, compared with an online New World price of $19.50. The $13.99 price is almost the same as that paid for beer about eight years ago. If prices since then had kept pace with inflation, the dozen would cost about $18.

Stellar journalism right there. A beer on special now costs the same as what it did 8 years ago when it wasn't on special, so clearly no beer prices have been raising for a long time? What the fuck.

blynk · 5th January 2009, 14:40

Tenants tackle brazen burglar
I also like the way that they write the story about this burglar caught in the act, then at the bottom they have a completely different story.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nzherald

Meanwhile, a man received minor injuries after being shot outside a nightclub in inner-city Auckland early yesterday morning.

Police were called after the man, who is believed to be in his early 20s, turned up at Auckland City Hospital with the gunshot wounds. Police say they are following strong lines of inquiry and the man has since been released from hospital.

Dusty · 5th January 2009, 17:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4809713a11.html

Same story.

Different tone.

Half of Kiwis.....Almost half of Kiwis...okay - 44% of Kiwis...

*sigh*

I see they have now changed the title...

Stuff editors reading NZG perhaps?...

CCS · 5th January 2009, 17:07

February summer holiday idea finds favour

I still don't particularly like that as a headline.

Seems to me that newspaper editors take this sort of angle on stories just to get people talking. The more people talk about it, the more bullshit they can print about it.

Trigger · 5th January 2009, 17:24

I also like this part

Quote:

Almost half of the Kiwi population believes

Quote:

The research poll of 500 people aged 15 and over was conducted by telephone between November 26 and December 3.

fidgit · 5th January 2009, 22:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diirk

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4809215a13.html

Stellar journalism right there. A beer on special now costs the same as what it did 8 years ago when it wasn't on special, so clearly no beer prices have been raising for a long time? What the fuck.

Heh, $18 is right about what you'd pay for a dozen Tui not on special currently, not $19.50...

And: Online New World? Wtf where is that? There's an online Woolworths but I don't think there'll ever be an online New World, the regional Owner Operators would never agree to losing customers to which ever store ran the online division. Unless one of the stores is doing their own portal, which is kind of not the same thing...

Markh · 5th January 2009, 23:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by blynk

Kiwis keen on moving summer holidays to February

"The poll found that 44 per cent of the people believe that the summer holiday period should be moved from December to February, when the weather is warmer, compared to 51 per cent, who would like to leave it as it is. Another 5 per cent were undecided."

No, actually Kiwis are keen on leaving the holidays where they are. 51% is greater than 44%

Fuck - this shit again!

Last time they did the same survey, they got similar results. But the meteorologists have pointed out that the weather is NOT better in February. Everyone thinks it is because they remember the nice sunny days when they have to work. The weather in late December has been pretty good really.

blynk · 6th January 2009, 10:13

I think part of it is that it's actually hotter and more humid in then, so it would be better to have time off/holidays etc at that time of year.

Ab · 6th January 2009, 14:55

They should get the editorial team from this paper.

Markh · 7th January 2009, 10:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by blynk

I think part of it is that it's actually hotter and more humid in then, so it would be better to have time off/holidays etc at that time of year.

Really? All the info I can find suggests that the average temperatures, humidity & rainfall are bugger all different between December, January & February. The end of December through the start of January would be close enough to as hot & humid as any time in Summer - so since there are several statutory holidays around that time it is the logical choice for summer holiday time.

xin · 7th January 2009, 12:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by blynk

Tenants tackle brazen burglar
I also like the way that they write the story about this burglar caught in the act, then at the bottom they have a completely different story.

This happens nearly daily. And on big stories you'll find the story repeated 2 or 3 times with very slight alterations.

But it'll be fixed soon \ o /

flic · 7th January 2009, 14:17

US radio presenter Howard Stern - a close friend of the couple - announced the Ugly Betty actress had given birth to her daughters on his show.

Which makes me wonder if he got the hot water and towels from the staff cafe to help out

BWDOWN · 7th January 2009, 18:25

I see the sports headline on the main page as

"Black caps square one-day series"

What the hell the windies only just finished batting

blynk · 8th January 2009, 11:59

Bush hosts ultimate presidential power lunch
"In a swift photo opportunity, the current president wished Obama well before all five men headed to a private lunch that lasted about 909 minutes."

Wow, thats one helluva long lunch. Just a little of 15 hours. There must of been more than just lunch on offer

crocos · 8th January 2009, 12:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by blynk

There must of been more than just lunch on offer

1) "Must have" or "Must've", never "Must of"
2) Slick Willie was involved, so it's a distinct possibility.

blynk · 8th January 2009, 12:33

Yes, that is correct, but we are not commenting about my proofreading in this thread, are we?

crocos · 8th January 2009, 12:54

And here's me thinking you worked for Stuff...

21st December 2008, 14:05	#241
CCS Stunt Pants	Letter is a fake It's a Herald article about how a guy sent a chain letter which was bogus. WTF? Also, sky is blue, moon found not to be made of cheese, water is wet. __________________ I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?

23rd December 2008, 12:54	#249
CCS Stunt Pants	There is an alternative meaning to the word mum... __________________ I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?

23rd December 2008, 21:40	#252
fidgit Always itchy	Oh I thought you were complaining because it's a stupid use of the expression, as it leads to a double-meaning with a rediculous inferance. I'd have still complained for that reason. Herald and Stuff seem to go out of their way to write stupid, illogical, or out-right incorrect headlines. It's like they take a personal pride in being poor at their jobs. (ok fine, I just defined their entire product, but they take special care with the headlines) __________________ 4 7 2 3 9 8 5...1 4 2 9 7 8...14 16 22...36°

24th December 2008, 11:27	#255
CCS Stunt Pants	lol, fail __________________ I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?

25th December 2008, 15:08	#258
flic Dee Hast Mish	Headline reads: How not to get burgled this Christmas Article includes tips such as: Mark your property so it can be easily identified if recovered. Take photos of unique items such as jewellery and ornaments Yes, I see how that would help you not get burgled __________________ In the future, everyone will be anonymous for 15 minutes

23rd December 2008, 11:04	#246
Luse	That's such a nothing story. :\|

23rd December 2008, 12:41	#247
Gentl e	Hastings millionaire mum on arrest reports Congratulations Mr Kelt, you're a mum??

23rd December 2008, 12:53	#248
[Malks] Pixie	Yeah that one fucked me off too... Pixie __________________ Civilised is as civilised does and civilised people walk among us.

23rd December 2008, 15:05	#251
Gentl e	Slaps head lol, he could've just stayed mum on the subject to make me feel smart.

24th December 2008, 23:51	#256
BathTub	That is a good one. __________________ Kevin: You know, when we actually do unleash the dragons... Mike: When we do, right. Kevin: Oh yeah, when we do, I would hope that we're smart enough to attempt a doctrine of appeasement with them, you know we offer them, I don't know, New Zealand in exchange for them not burning down my house,.. Ah, I mean our houses. Mike: Good Kevin, that's real brave. Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy - Reign of Fire Rifftrax

5th January 2009, 13:11	#261
blynk	Kiwis keen on moving summer holidays to February "The poll found that 44 per cent of the people believe that the summer holiday period should be moved from December to February, when the weather is warmer, compared to 51 per cent, who would like to leave it as it is. Another 5 per cent were undecided." No, actually Kiwis are keen on leaving the holidays where they are. 51% is greater than 44%

5th January 2009, 13:25	#263
Dusty	http://www.stuff.co.nz/4809713a11.html Same story. Different tone. Half of Kiwis.....Almost half of Kiwis...okay - 44% of Kiwis... sigh

5th January 2009, 17:07	#267
CCS Stunt Pants	February summer holiday idea finds favour I still don't particularly like that as a headline. Seems to me that newspaper editors take this sort of angle on stories just to get people talking. The more people talk about it, the more bullshit they can print about it. __________________ I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?

6th January 2009, 10:13	#271
blynk	I think part of it is that it's actually hotter and more humid in then, so it would be better to have time off/holidays etc at that time of year.

6th January 2009, 14:55	#272
Ab A mariachi ogre snorkel	They should get the editorial team from this paper.

7th January 2009, 14:17	#275
flic Dee Hast Mish	US radio presenter Howard Stern - a close friend of the couple - announced the Ugly Betty actress had given birth to her daughters on his show. Which makes me wonder if he got the hot water and towels from the staff cafe to help out __________________ In the future, everyone will be anonymous for 15 minutes

7th January 2009, 18:25	#276
BWDOWN	I see the sports headline on the main page as "Black caps square one-day series" What the hell the windies only just finished batting __________________ Second place is the first loser.. Last edited by BWDOWN : 7th January 2009 at 18:27.

8th January 2009, 11:59	#277
blynk	Bush hosts ultimate presidential power lunch "In a swift photo opportunity, the current president wished Obama well before all five men headed to a private lunch that lasted about 909 minutes." Wow, thats one helluva long lunch. Just a little of 15 hours. There must of been more than just lunch on offer

8th January 2009, 12:33	#279
blynk	Yes, that is correct, but we are not commenting about my proofreading in this thread, are we?

8th January 2009, 12:54	#280
crocos	And here's me thinking you worked for Stuff... __________________ Ξ √ Ω L U T ↑ ☼ N وكل يوم كنت تعيش في العبودية