NZGames 2011 Secret Santa

[cEvin]

StN:

"Time - Date - Status
11.55 AM - 16/12/11 - Picked up

Your item has been collected and is in transit to a NZ Post depot."

your santa says: not sure if it's in Chch or on the delivery truck or what.... :(

[StN]

Hmm - Mrs Stoolie is home today, so mayhap it will appear.

[cEvin]

5-6 days in transit I'm guessing it may have either been damaged and is being sent back or the tracking site is having issues updating, or they're simply fucking slow.

[mpx]

I'll be opening tonight also, as I'm moving house tomorrow!

[a-tech]

Originally Posted by mpx

I'll be opening tonight also, as I'm moving house tomorrow!

I too need to open this afternoon, as I will be away from internet from this evening for a weekish.

[xpandnz]

Still nudda. All good. One more day.

[OY636]

Still nothing here, hopefully tomorrow

[a-tech]

Thanks heaps NZGSS! Been musing over ordering one of these for ages. Right race too.

Appreciated++ See all you cunts next year.

[Trigger]

Lock 'n' Load!

[CCS]

I'm not sure if I ought to strip away the outer layer, but we shall find out in short order. Roughly shoe box size, which will be the red herring packaging. More than one item inside (or one thing smashed into several pieces?). Main item roughly half the dimensions of the shoe box. Overall weight, around 500gm. My guess? A buttplug in blister packaging, a cock ring, nipple clamps.




Sender is obviously confident that the package would reach its intended recipient. That is, unless the package gets sent back to ASB Bank House in Wgtn and they know who NZGSS is :P It's possible. Wgtn is a bit of a hick town.

[dylan]

Says Abs House bro, not ASB house.

[Golden Teapot]

Home castration kits are roughly a half kilo and shoe boxed sized; or so my recent googling suggests.

[LordP]

Right, I messed up and left my present at work when I left, so it'll have to wait until next Thursday when I get back to Welly

[tor]

Originally Posted by LordP

...

I like the way the .sig matches the message

[CCS]

Originally Posted by dylan

Says Abs House bro, not ASB house.

You fell for my cleverly laid trap. YOU'RE THE SANTA!

[StN]

I was just thinking about driving around to the local post shop in case they forgot to leave a card to call, when Santa decided I might need a new house.

[dylan]

Your SS really spared no expense this year!

Merry Xmas StN! (WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE)

[StN]

Righto "Danger is my middle name"... I'm gonna blame your esteemed colleagues for now - might even throw some rocks at the postie that lives across the road...

Address worked fine last year.

[Waldo]

ohh a photo frame, with me in it, how sweet

Was that you LP? I think on here, only you and clay have this series :0

its beside my bed much to the wives dismay - but it was there or my computer desk.

old school photoshopping was the best

[xpandnz]

Don't know why you would have a raincoat and some tissues. Its either or tbh. Either let it spray or let it stay.

[Pepsi]

Maybe he cries during intercourse, so that's what the tissues are for...

[Waldo]

I use tissues for nose blowing, its unique I know

[Dweeb]

Guess I'm a bit of a sucker.

Thanks my NZGSS, now I have a bargaining tool with the young fella and the Mrs these holidays.

[_Incubus_]

Moral of the story..be careful what you joke about in here.

[Pepsi]

Thanks to my not-so-secret-Santa.. or was it, Mrs Santa? Very cute!





My youngest has gone and claimed it!!

p.s - I knew it felt like socks!

[cEvin]

Ok first things first, postcard from Evoke to match my other confusingly lame postcard from OY636:



But then... another envelope with the same handwriting...
And in it is:



Wtf! That is insane, seriously I feel like I should send this back, it's way too much! That's going to really come in handy, thanks a ton :>

Next up, the flat do-not-bend package:



Holy loly, original labyrinth 7". That's fucking incredible :D
It's now proudly on display with my other vinyl that I can't mention the names of.

Then, totally unexpected - the troll face package delivers, in a big way~~~~


Hipflask of Chivas :)

Now the big square one - the emo guy wrapped box (was that guy spiderman?) contained: "Spiderman 3 Mask - Scaled Replica".



This will sit nicely beside my severed head hairdressing dolls.

And lastly, another large flat package, would could it be? more vinyl?
Nope, it's Troll Wally!



Open it up, another note inside



Santa has trolled me and circled Wally on every single page + all the additional tasks listed in the back (except one, "The Odd Couple"), feels bad man.



Thanks to everyone who sent me stuff when it was entirely optional. I managed to avoid butt plugs and liz shaw memorabilia completely.
Looking forward to seeing what gets unwrapped today :D

And to those that still haven't received anything - postage resumes 28th - 31st. We'll see what happens during this time then start chasing up. At least every single package was confirmed as sent though.
If people followed the postage date guidelines this would be largely avoidable ;>

Merry nzgamesmas to all

[CCS]

Originally Posted by _Incubus_

Moral of the story..be careful what you joke about in here.

LUCKY!!!! That's going in the wife, right? Wanting pics tbh.

[CCS]

Here now is a dramatical re-enactenment of my nzgss present unwrapping. Feel the suspense!



I knew it! Shoes! My favourite brand, too! But how did they guess my size?!





What is this? Insult via snail mail? Dastardly! Get some more ink you fucking froob!





Shrink wrapped letters! Oh boy, I hope there's enough to spell out GET OFF MY LAWN YOU CUNT so I can put it in the window.





Letters with points! Now all I need is a whole lot more letters and I can play a game on the lounge floor where you form whole words with letters assigned to each player randomly in which they're awarded the sum total of points from each word letter! A brilliant idea which I will copyright immediately! Think of the minutes of fun! PROLAPSE 11 points. GOATSE 8 points.




But wait, was ist das? Bonus lols? OMG, it's a framed picture of the common sperg in the wild! Get some more ink you loser!




So there's the haul. Thanks nzg secret santa! I'm not too sure what S, C, C is supposed to represent but at the very least they'll be good for chucking at cats. The sperg picture will, of course, end up drenched in cum.

[Trigger]

hahaha you got owned CCS







my present resembles cEvs ! troll face box, with some whiskey

[Phantom]

I thought I'd sneakily open mine while cooking breakfast but Santa one-upped me - check out what was in my two packages:



So I've taken a step back and will resume after eating! Excite!

[Pepsi]

lol, awesome

[dylan]

In a Harrods box, no less - classy as fuck!

[Evoke]

That sinking feeling when you think the ultimate troll was to send me a container full of packaging thingees.

Nek minit:







yep:






Chocolate's ok though:







ack reached image post limit!

[Evoke]

somewhat disturbing, it's an old magazine:



Thank you Secret Santa!!

[Phantom]

Everything is better with Bacon - even Christmas!~



So, so, so very awesome - thanks Santa! You're very generous! I'm extremely grateful and in awe of your gifting skill

I won't lie to you, though; I suspect a Bacon-flavoured drink may well be a bridge too far D:

[CCS]

zomg, baconation! You been baconised! JEALOUS!



Come on losers, mor photos!

[DrTiTus]

Yay, chocolate and another gift...

With a note attached...

Which turns out to be "Sex in the Shower" Emotibomb soapy stuff from Lush

(Hard to read the blur)
Set the mood, ___ the atmosphere, share a shower!

Thanks Santa! *nom nom nom*

[StN]

Just when I got bored with cleaning the turtle tank, and decided to go and get a spirit level to see exactly how bad the floor is, and then wandered to the back door - only to find a package!

Pictures have been taken, and once I have recovered from a very disturbing componant, I shall post these.

Now, to complete the turtle clean...

[A Corpse]

Right. Upon opening the previously-received courier package:
http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/5646/nzgss2011.jpg

I'm confronted with a black, logo'ed box (some surfing co? Not sure it's important) smelling faintly of PVA.



Lifting the lid, I'm greeted by ominous instructions.



I do what it says, but from the side, so the inevitable anthrax-disseminating apparatus at least misses me with the bulk of its blast.



But I needn't have feared. Putting the hazmat gear away, I investigate further.





I may have to take those to work, though nobody there plays minecraft. All the more interesting to gauge reactions I guess.

[dylan]

Oh look, a box...



What's this yellow label...a clue? Or a red herring?? Hmmm



Air bags? Pro packager status: REVEALED!



REALLY PRO. Nothing was going to break this...what I can only assume, based on its heavy weight, is a glass dildo...



But no! It's a nice bottle of wine!



Def no complaints about that, thanks Santa!!