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Old 2nd August 2005, 22:51     #121
CCS
Stunt Pants
 
Quote:
Originally posted by eff tee
I used to always come across agents
fap
Quote:
I am skinny, I am hot, I get sex, and I have big tits.
double fap
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Old 2nd August 2005, 23:05     #122
Torka
 
People who care too much about things that don't really matter.
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Old 2nd August 2005, 23:56     #123
samael
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Torka
People who care too much about things that don't really matter.
Sorry about that :(

But does that mean you grind your own gears then?
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Old 3rd August 2005, 00:03     #124
MoP
 
Quote:
Originally posted by crocos
Speaking as a code monkey, I would love to fix the bugs that are outstanding, as I'm not JUST a code-monkey, but have to support the goddamn stupid system too. The reason that I can't is because Marketing is onto it's next hare-brained scheme before I've even finished the coding for their last one, and they refuse to believe that bug-fixes have a better return for the money invested then some of the new "features" they dream up.
Amen. I wish that everyone in marketing would just die
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Old 3rd August 2005, 00:15     #125
kimmyh51
 
Quote:
Originally posted by MoP
Amen. I wish that everyone in marketing would just die
do marketing ask the end users?

as an 'end user' of a particular application that has just been'upgraded' we are all tearing our hair out at the combination of old bugs not fixed and new bugs, and really stupid usability issues that indicate no one bothered to to any fucking requirements analysis/ user requirements whatsoever.

I could write a small novel on the bugs in it, and the stupid user-unfriendly crap

except its taking me so long to work around them all I cant do my actual job, let alone theirs.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 00:17     #126
samael
 
Quote:
Originally posted by kimmyh51
do marketing ask the end users?

as an 'end user' of a particular application that has just been'upgraded' we are all tearing our hair out at the combination of old bugs not fixed and new bugs, and really stupid usability issues that indicate no one bothered to to any fucking requirements analysis/ user requirements whatsoever.

I could write a small novel on the bugs in it, and the stupid user-unfriendly crap

except its taking me so long to work around them all I cant do my actual job, let alone theirs.
They ask the end users managers, who are easily impressed with flashy demos and big, technical sounding words.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 00:37     #127
Foggerty
 
Quote:
Originally posted by crocos
Speaking as a code monkey, I would love to fix the bugs that are outstanding, as I'm not JUST a code-monkey, but have to support the goddamn stupid system too. The reason that I can't is because Marketing is onto it's next hare-brained scheme before I've even finished the coding for their last one, and they refuse to believe that bug-fixes have a better return for the money invested then some of the new "features" they dream up.
If it makes you feel any better (probablly not), there are customers who are the same way, although I'm sure you know this already.

i.e. Trying to explain to a client why taking "a couple of days" to refactor the code is a good thing, if they want their future enhancements to be easy (read: cheap) to add.

Not kidding, I wrote a fucking awful Skip Tracing (i.e. tracking down debtors) web based program in .NET in two weeks. I'd never worked in .NET, and I'd never written a web app, and never used ASP.NET either.

It worked (because the Coding Guru who I was working with spent 3/4s of an hour finishing it off for me on Christmas Eve, which was basically a) correcting my usage of a library he had written and b) using the correct .NET objects for what I was trying to do, reducing 30-40 lines of code to 5) but it only just worked.

After this horrible experience I had to convince the client that despite apearances, I hadn't quite done a bang up job, and could REALLY use some time to get things sorted out (like removing hard coded SQL statements from the code base and introducing objects to represent debts/debtors/leads) before doing any furure work.

They didn't believe me:

"We've got serious time constraints from upstairs..."
"I don't think we can factor those changes into our costs..."
"If I ask you for this tiny little change along with the other ten tiny little changes, none of which were in the spec, it couldn't possibly cause problems downstream, could it?"

Jesus, trying to explain to clients that Little Change A + Little Change B = big fucking bug further down the track that we cannot see yet because it was never factored into the change requests and planning we did, so can we please leve those changes until I've finished the current changes you want... is not fun

p.s. NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING WORK FOR A BASTARD WHO TELLS CLIENTS THAT YOU HAVE MUCHO EXPERIENCE IN A BRAND NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE, LET ALONE FUCKING IMPLEMENTED ANYTHING USEFULL IN. Ah yeah, now that grinds my gears

p.p.s. Web development sucks arse, until you get your mind around stateless programming (which doesn't take that long I guess, but its still a mind shift). Then you go out and start learning LISP, and then your brain melts.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 09:40     #128
MoP
 
Quote:
Originally posted by kimmyh51
do marketing ask the end users?

as an 'end user' of a particular application that has just been'upgraded' we are all tearing our hair out at the combination of old bugs not fixed and new bugs, and really stupid usability issues that indicate no one bothered to to any fucking requirements analysis/ user requirements whatsoever.

I could write a small novel on the bugs in it, and the stupid user-unfriendly crap

except its taking me so long to work around them all I cant do my actual job, let alone theirs.
That sort of stuff is supposed to be done by Software Analysts - people who actually understand the technology, and the impacts of whatever might be promised, and if it might actually be feasable. Marketing people read the glossy industry magazines, and spout all the flash new jargon and buzzwords at clients, without any regard for if it might be possible (or even a good idea) to do. They then say it can be done in a week, when 3 months is a more realistic figure.

I hate marketing.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 10:27     #129
a-tech
 
What grinds my gears is when im doing something (development, writing a document etc), and my boss says 'lets catch up now' so i stop what im doing, and prepare for the catch up, then he fucks around for ages doing his own shit, talking to other staff members....whatever.

so i just sit here, not wanting to start what i was working on again, cause im basically on red alert for this meeting....it could happen ANYTIME....

sigh
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Old 3rd August 2005, 11:31     #130
Fred
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Foggerty
Then you go out and start learning LISP, and then your brain melts.
LISP and I wave big angry sticks at each other but otherwise stay in our respective corners and leave each other alone. I find it is better that way.
__________________
|O-bot|-fred
'fred is not dead, fred is resurrected!'
"It is only in the tales humans tell, that the hunters win in the end."
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Old 3rd August 2005, 11:46     #131
EvilLumpy
 
I didn't have that much troubles with LISP, but then again I've not had to interact with it in anyway in a production environment and maybe my memories are making it seem much easier than it really is.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 12:03     #132
Foggerty
 
Heh, I'm only at the

(defun add1 (n)
(+ 1 n) )

and go woo! cos it works stage. Have been learning very slowly, i.e. when I can be bothered to boot into Linux when I have some spare time at home.

Have done enough reading to start seeing how functional programming could be cool, and love the idea of code as data (my old boss used to rave about something similar when he was using Clipper, never quite saw what the big deal was until recently.)
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Old 3rd August 2005, 12:20     #133
samael
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Foggerty
Heh, I'm only at the

(defun add1 (n)
(+ 1 n) )

and go woo! cos it works stage. Have been learning very slowly, i.e. when I can be bothered to boot into Linux when I have some spare time at home.

Have done enough reading to start seeing how functional programming could be cool, and love the idea of code as data (my old boss used to rave about something similar when he was using Clipper, never quite saw what the big deal was until recently.)
At work we use SISC, which is an implementation of scheme, a dialect of LISP. It rules hard.
Definitly worth a look at.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:06     #134
Matt0r
 
People who bitch about spam, ffs its just email, DELETE IT. It's not like you have to physically get up and run down the street to get rid of it. Hell, I'm the laziest fucker about and I can press a key without stressing out about it.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:10     #135
sv
simulationszeitalter
 
Spam does get to be a pain when you're getting 150-200 a day. You have to use filtering, and then you have to check for false positives etc.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:15     #136
cEvin
Love In Vein
 
people who get really worked up over things like servers, code, blah, anything IT really.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:26     #137
Baal
 
People who can't upshift properly. Duh.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:34     #138
stryka
 
Angry talking

Flatmates who use all the bandwidth when they're not even home.

.. And then when they get home, wonder why you pulled their patch cable.

Last edited by stryka : 3rd August 2005 at 15:38.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 15:43     #139
xor
 
Upside down

Quote:
Originally posted by stryka
Flatmates who use all the bandwidth when they're not even home.

.. And then when they get home, wonder why you pulled their patch cable.
haha I did that to my old flattie
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Old 3rd August 2005, 19:43     #140
kimmyh51
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Foggerty
If it makes you feel any better (probablly not), there are customers who are the same way, although I'm sure you know this already.

i.e. Trying to explain to a client why taking "a couple of days" to refactor the code is a good thing, if they want their future enhancements to be easy (read: cheap) to add.

Not kidding, I wrote a fucking awful Skip Tracing (i.e. tracking down debtors) web based program in .NET in two weeks. I'd never worked in .NET, and I'd never written a web app, and never used ASP.NET either.

It worked (because the Coding Guru who I was working with spent 3/4s of an hour finishing it off for me on Christmas Eve, which was basically a) correcting my usage of a library he had written and b) using the correct .NET objects for what I was trying to do, reducing 30-40 lines of code to 5) but it only just worked.

After this horrible experience I had to convince the client that despite apearances, I hadn't quite done a bang up job, and could REALLY use some time to get things sorted out (like removing hard coded SQL statements from the code base and introducing objects to represent debts/debtors/leads) before doing any furure work.

They didn't believe me:

"We've got serious time constraints from upstairs..."
"I don't think we can factor those changes into our costs..."
"If I ask you for this tiny little change along with the other ten tiny little changes, none of which were in the spec, it couldn't possibly cause problems downstream, could it?"

Jesus, trying to explain to clients that Little Change A + Little Change B = big fucking bug further down the track that we cannot see yet because it was never factored into the change requests and planning we did, so can we please leve those changes until I've finished the current changes you want... is not fun

p.s. NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING WORK FOR A BASTARD WHO TELLS CLIENTS THAT YOU HAVE MUCHO EXPERIENCE IN A BRAND NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE, LET ALONE FUCKING IMPLEMENTED ANYTHING USEFULL IN. Ah yeah, now that grinds my gears

p.p.s. Web development sucks arse, until you get your mind around stateless programming (which doesn't take that long I guess, but its still a mind shift). Then you go out and start learning LISP, and then your brain melts.
now isnt that where you need to have a BA that knows what the fuck they are on about, and has the balls to tell it straight (in laymans terms anyway) to the client - rather than agreeing to all sorts of crap to get the job?

very short sighted as sooner or later your company's name will be mud when all the limitations become apparent to the client (who will never stop to consider the fact that their demands might have contributed to this situation - though - really the client should expect to be educated when they are asking for stuff that isnt possible - again consultant/BA's job)
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Old 3rd August 2005, 19:57     #141
kimmyh51
 
also, can openers

they never last very long before they wont work - i just brought a new one and a week later its starting to slip

flawed technology - why hasnt someone made a BETTER one?
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Old 3rd August 2005, 20:29     #142
samael
 
Quote:
Originally posted by kimmyh51
also, can openers

they never last very long before they wont work - i just brought a new one and a week later its starting to slip

flawed technology - why hasnt someone made a BETTER one?
What the fuck are you doing to them? Buy those ugly metal ones, I have had one for years.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 20:41     #143
chiquelet
Mrs Colin Farrell
 
Quote:
Originally posted by kimmyh51
i just brought a new one
Normally I ignore spelling and grammar on this forum, but the above always gets my goat:

It should be - "i just bought a new one"

Brought = to bring.

Bought = to buy.

Now I know you could be saying that you took a new can-opener home, but you're not. I'm not flaming you, btw, just pointing something out for future reference.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 20:49     #144
Helious
 
Thumbs up

I agree with chiquelet.

What she pointed out really rattles my tits.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 21:08     #145
dead goon
 
crazy frog
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Old 3rd August 2005, 21:42     #146
Nailbomb
 
Flatmates who invite their friends over and play drum n bass really loudly in the kitchen when everyone else in the flat fucking hates it.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 21:47     #147
[BT]Monza
 
Quote:
Originally posted by chiquelet

It should be - "i just bought a new one"

I hate it when people use "i" instead of "I".
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Old 3rd August 2005, 21:48     #148
Dan
 
Upside down

Quote:
Originally posted by chiquelet
Normally I ignore spelling and grammar on this forum, but the above always gets my goat:

It should be - "i just bought a new one"

Brought = to bring.

Bought = to buy.

Now I know you could be saying that you took a new can-opener home, but you're not. I'm not flaming you, btw, just pointing something out for future reference.
What really gets my goat is when people use 'loose' when they mean 'lose'.

Damned goat.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 21:54     #149
chiquelet
Mrs Colin Farrell
 
Quote:
Originally posted by [BT]Monza
I hate it when people use "i" instead of "I".
Do you really?

Quote:
Originally posted by Dan
What really gets my goat is when people use 'loose' when they mean 'lose'.

Damned goat.
I set myself up for that, but the people needed to learn the difference between bought and brought. It was all worth it
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Old 3rd August 2005, 22:48     #150
DrTiTus
HENCE WHY FOREVER ALONE
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Nailbomb
Flatmates who invite their friends over and play drum n bass really loudly in the kitchen when everyone else in the flat fucking hates it.
I hate people who can't handle loud drum and bass!
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:00     #151
[BT]Monza
 
Quote:
Originally posted by chiquelet
Do you really?
Yes, right up there with "you're" and "your".
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:25     #152
kimmyh51
 
Quote:
Originally posted by samael
What the fuck are you doing to them? Buy those ugly metal ones, I have had one for years.
the one i bought is one of those ugly metal ones

(edit)

oh, and what am I doing to them? oddly enough, opening cans with them!

Last edited by kimmyh51 : 3rd August 2005 at 23:26.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:33     #153
CCS
Stunt Pants
 
My god, the woman can't even use a can opener! She is a danger in the kitchen and therefore is of no use to anyone as a woman. Down the garbage shute with her.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:35     #154
kimmyh51
 
Quote:
Originally posted by CCS
My god, the woman can't even use a can opener! She is a danger in the kitchen and therefore is of no use to anyone as a woman. Down the garbage shute with her.
I burn popcorn too
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:37     #155
CCS
Stunt Pants
 
Christ, you can't do anything. I bet you make really bad scrambled eggs.
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:39     #156
DrTiTus
HENCE WHY FOREVER ALONE
 
I bet you can't get a girlfriend
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:40     #157
crocos
 
He's got kimmy - they make such a cute couple!
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Old 3rd August 2005, 23:44     #158
CCS
Stunt Pants
 
Women who can't cook. That really grinds my gears. Anyone who can't make decent scrambled eggs. It's so fucking easy to make, how can you screw it up?


Quote:
Originally posted by DrTiTus
I bet you can't get a girlfriend
I simply beat them and make them mine.
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Old 4th August 2005, 00:27     #159
Markh
 
Quote:
Originally posted by kimmyh51
also, can openers

they never last very long before they wont work - i just brought a new one and a week later its starting to slip

flawed technology - why hasnt someone made a BETTER one?
WTF? They have made better ones! Stop buying cheap crap from the $2 shop and complaining that it is cheaply made. I bought a Brabantia can opener in 1986 for $15 and still have it, though it is getting a little fucked now - but I got at least 15 years of good use out of it. When I was a kid we didn't have much money and my mother bought some cheap shitty can openers that were mediocre when new and shit within weeks - that used to grind my gears.

Seriously, the people that buy the cheapest low quality crap available then complain about the poor quality really piss me off. I spend good money to buy good quality stuff that will last well, why pay half as much for something that lasts for 10% as long?
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Old 4th August 2005, 00:56     #160
Foggerty
 
Hey.... I was about to make some witty comment about goats and grinding them.

But its escaped me for the moment, although I still feel the need to post something dang it.

Fuck it, me and my goat are going to bed now to grind stuff.
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