View Single Post
Old 23rd February 2005, 21:32     #33
Blam
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Jonan
www.rosetintedglasses.com
Nice post at that site..

(Posted by Rae =AR= on June 03, 1999 on the Ironglove message board.)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 1999:

Play TF.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, getting an OC-3 fiber optic connect to your gaming rig would be it. The long-term benefits of fiber optic speed have been proved by LPBs everywhere, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own lag filled experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and speed of your computer. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and speed of your computer until you've tried to play Quake on a 486-50.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at screenshots of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how much you really Pwned. You are not as bad as Phat Dragon.

Don't worry about the future.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to grenade jump from the basement of 2fort5 with 20% health. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the 50% packetloss that blindside you at 9 p.m. on some IGL Thursday.

Do one thing every day that scares your clanmates.

Spam.

Don't mind the flames from other clan. Don't put up with clans that do.

Play all D.

Don't waste your time on ping envy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The match is long and, in the end, it's the team with the most flags AND frags that wins.

Forget all the times you threw the pin and not the grenade.

Remember the good air frags. If you have too many air frags to remember, tell me how.

Keep your old demos. Throw away your old Voodoo1 .

Respawn camp.

Don't feel guilty if you end up in the enemy's spawn room and spam to keep alive. The good TFers are able to camp my spawn room, hours at a time. Some of the best TFers I know still haven't left.

Get plenty of armor. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're shot off.

Maybe you're l33t, maybe you aren't. Maybe you'll win Dragon Warz, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40 because your wife thinks you play too many video games, maybe you'll both be playing Everquest on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't take losing too seriously, or winning either. Your defense was probably be half assed. So was your offense.

Enjoy your rocket launcher. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid to rocket jump with it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest weapon you'll ever own.

Learn to snipe. Even if you have to shoot your own clanmates playing TP11.

Avoid a Kaizen sniper , even if you have to swim the whole match.

Do not read the Top Ten Clans list. It will only make your clan feel like shit.
Get to know your Engineer. You never know when your dispenser will be gone for good. Be nice to your Pip er. They're your last line of defense and the people most likely kill the flag runners.

Understand that clans come and go, but only a respectable few live on in memory.

Work hard to bridge the gaps between TF and TFC, because the older it gets, the more you'll miss the people who fragged with you when you were young.

Play in Iron Glove once, but leave before it makes you hard. Play CanalZone Golf once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Circle-Strafe.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Pings will drop. Clans will cheat. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, pings sucked, Clans were noble and respected their leaders. Respect your leaders.

Don't expect anyone heal you. Maybe you have a good Medic. Maybe you'll have a kick ass scout. But you never know when either one might run out and conc you off the bridge.

Don't mess too much with your binds or by the time you're done you will overflow everytime you connect to a server.

Be suspicious about the rectangular box in the middle of the ramproom, but be patient with those who disarm it.

Discarding packs are a form of territorial pissing. Picking up packs off a dead guy is a way of fishing ammo from the disposal, wiping off the blood, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the OC-3 fiber optic connect.

Rae =AR=
  Reply With Quote