Quote:
|
Originally Posted by CCS
No, it's not even parts of masculinity that are toxic. If anything, it's that some people (arseholes) are saying that some arsehole behaviours are what is expected of a man. That's not the fault of men or masculinity. It's the fault of arsehole people who justify their arsehole attitudes by blaming their arsehole concept masculinity. To be more precise - the problem is arseholes (toxic individuals) - not masculinity.
Don't tell people their masculinity is toxic. Tell them that certain behaviours or attitudes (ones that can come from people of either gender) are shitty.
|
If some arseholes are saying what behaviours are what is expected of a man; and these concepts are being conformed to on a large scale by other men; then by definition that is masculinity because masculinity is (mostly) a social construct of 'qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men'. I disagree that it’s formed by some arseholes but rather the collective views/expectations of society.
A recent example where there’s still a long way to go is how society views male victims of spousal abuse. It's not just some arseholes it's a gradual change where as a society we go from laughing at a weak man who can't handle his woman to acknowledging it as a legitimate form of abuse.
Also we should definitely be telling people that their masculinity can be harmful, because by helping them challenge these ideas they have about what they can and can't do you're helping them deal with their inner conflicts over these social expectations eg it's okay to ask for help if you're depressed.